Fundamentals for the Friends of Loren

We, the friends of Loren, in order to form a more fucked up, yet cohesive union, hold these fundamentals to be self evident. 

1. Don't fuck with us, and we won't fuck with you.

2. It's just pussy, folks, nothing more, nothing less.

3. If you can't take a joke, or some controlled violence, then fuck you.

4. What is said in an altered state remains in an altered state.

5. Wife swapping is optional.

6. Your preconceived notions are always acceptable, but do not bore us with dogma.

7. Be prepared to defend yourself, rhetorically as well as physically, and your ideas at all times.

8. If you are easily offended, see rule 3.

9. We expect a basic knowledge of history, warfare, philosophy, religion, alcohol, drugs, and meteorology.

9a. One must understand the fundamental importance of barometric pressure.

10. If you have a girlfriend, great, but leave her at home!

11. No subject is "off limits" to any permanent member or guest of the group while in session.

12. If you are limited to a 8th grade vocabulary, that's fine, but don't expect us to change our vocabulary to accomodate your ignorance.