A GBCN Special Report

(voice of James Earl Jones, GBCN Logo): This is GBCN.

Graphic (in black and white): A GBCN Special Report

(urgent music)

(voice of Mark Kingsley)

Hi ya, folks. We interrupt our regularly-scheduled programming on the God Bureau Cable Network for this special announcement, eh.

From the last defensive positions within Festung Europa it is announced that the Defensemaster, this afternoon at his command post in the ruins of the Big Chocolate Dick Cookie factory, fighting till his last breath against the Xarlons, fell for the Stingray Regime. As the forces of darkness closed in upon him, eh, the Defensemaster appointed Gonar, Gatekeeper to the Outer Galaxy, his successor. The Gatekeeper and successor of the Defensemaster will now speak by shortwave radio to the fighters of the Stingray regime everywhere. Ladies and Gentleman, Gonar, Gatekeeper to the Outer Galaxy!

(voice of Gonar, crackling and muted transmission)

Stingray Regime men and women, androgynous budists, soldiers of the rebellion and masters of the arcane arts, our Defensemaster has fallen. In deepest sorrow and reverence the Stingray Regime bows. He recognized the terrible danger of Xarlonism at an early date and dedicated his existence to this struggle. The end of this, his struggle, and of his unswerving straight path of life, is marked by his heroic death within the radioactive ruins of Festung Europa. His life was one single service for the Stingray Regime. His action in fighting against the Xarlonist enemy was waged beyond that, for all 56 countries of the free world. The Defensemaster has appointed me his successor. Conscious of this responsibility I am taking over the leadership of the Stingray Regime defense forces in this grave hour of destiny. My first task is to save the Stingray Regime from annihilation by the advancing Xarlon army. The military struggle continues only with this aim. Inasmuch, and as long as, the attainment of this aim is being hindered by fencesitters, naysayers, rival television networks and fifth-columnists, we shall have to continue to defend ourselves against them as well, and shall have to continue to fight against them. These will then continue the war no longer for their own interests but only to further the spread of Xarlonism in Europa and throughout the world.

The fighting achievements of the Stingray Regime in this war and the suffering of our people is unique in history. During this time of the plight of our regime I shall endeavor as far as it is in my power to create bearable conditions of life for our brave women, men and children. For all this, I need your help. Grant me your confidence, for your path is also my path. Maintain order and discipline in town and country. May everyone fulfill his duty at his post. Only thus shall we be able to mitigate the sufferings which the coming period will bring to each one of us and to prevent the collapse. If we do all that is in our power, the gods will not forsake us after so much suffering and sacrifice.

Hail Stingray!

(voice of Mark Kingsley)

We now return to Smoke the Dead on GBCN, eh!