Drinking Through The New Hampshire Primary
Gentle reader,
Back by popular demand, our intrepid alco-political correspondent, Mr. Aaron Nielsen, gives us his take on yesterday's New Hampshire primary. The Festung Europa editorial staff and our partners at the GBCN World Centre in Uranium City, Saskatchewan, would like to wish our reporter a belated happy birthday!
CRM
Tuesday, January 10, 2012. Buckle up, folks. New Hampshire is celebrating my 28th birthday by holding the nation's first primary of 2012. Six major candidates (and Buddy Roemer) remain in the race to become the Republican nominee for president. Before we start getting plowed to this seemingly inconsequential event, here's an update on the field accompanied by a relevant YouTube clip:
Willard 'Mitt' Romney eeked out a narrow eight vote victory in Iowa over Rick Santorum, but the biggest attacks on Willard are coming from that nasty old fucker that just won't go away. Of course, I am talking about "The Professor" Newt Gingrich. (Ed. note: I thought at first he was referring to me!) Mitt's allies put more than five million bucks into smearing Newt all over Iowa and Newt is fucking pissed. (Ed. note: I would rather see smeared Newt than smeared Santorum.) His main attack on Magic Underpants has to do with Mitt's time at Bain Capital, an investment company based out of Boston. It appears that this attack is gaining some traction and Romney has seen his poll numbers slip as he continues to get nailed by all the other candidates.
Jon Huntsman, aka Magic Underpants No. 2, served President Obama as his Chinese ambassador. Supposedly, the Obama administration foresaw him as one of the strongest opponents in a re-election bid and was nominated to the ambassadorship in an attempt to mitigate this possibility. Arguably, it has hurt his candidancy being a part of the Obama regime, but he turned it into a huge positive at Sunday's debate when Willard challenged him on this point. Huntsman was very effective in his response by saying he put his country first and was not a partisan politician like Romney. 'Country First' was been a rallying cry at his recent events. New Hampshire is do or die for Huntsman and really needs a second place finish to stay relevant in this race.
The libertarian leanings of Granite Staters plays right into Ron Paul's hand. He should see a strong performance here and I wouldn't expect him to finish worse than third place.
Coming off (no pun intended) a huge "tie" for first place in Iowa, Santorum elected to challenge Romney in New Hampshire. This was an extremely poor strategy in my mind, as the Christian conservative base is just not all that present in NH. In addition, by the time he got the huge cash bump (to the tune of $1,000,000 in one day) from his tie in Iowa, there was no longer any TV available to purchase. It will be hard to spin a 4th or 5th place finish in NH for Santorum's team now that he actually invested some time here.
What the fuck is this guy doing? According to polls, he's at 1% in New Hampshire and 5% in South Carolina. Maybe he's staying in the race to angle for a position in a future administration in a trade for an endorsement, but honestly, I think he is just a dipshit.
Buddy is actually outpolling Perry in New Hampshire but his candidacy reminds me of Morry Taylor.
4:41 PM EST: Huntsman 33%, Romney 33%, Gingrich 17%, Ron Paul 17% (with1% reporting). The first results of the New Hampshire Republican primary are in from Dixville (the town in New Hampshire, not the club in Prague that Chris Meyer frequents). (Ed. note: I prefer Hot Peppers.) Well, there are only six total votes cast thus far, but it's a nice start for Huntsman, who does seem to have some momentum. Before we get too many more vote tallies, it's time for some predictions from Real Clear Politics, (I adjusted their numbers to account for undecideds according to their current proportion), Nate Silver of 538, and yours truly.
Aaron: Romney 34%, Huntsman 21%, Paul 20%, Santorum 12%, Gingrich 11%, Perry 1%, Roemer 1%
538: Romney 39%, Paul 19%, Huntsman 17%, Santorum 12%, Gingrich 12%, Perry 1%
RCP: Romney 40%, Paul 19%, Huntsman 16%, Santorum 12%, Gingrich 11%, Perry 1%
My predictions for Iowa were pretty poor, as I expected the order at the top to be Paul, Santorum, then Romney. Final results, in fact, showed it to be Romney/Santorum then Paul. RCP and 538 predicted Romney, Paul, then Santorum. Jon Huntsman appears to have some momentum at the moment, but it may be too little, too late. I expect Paul and especially Huntsman to outperform the polls as independents are allowed to vote in either the Democratic or Republican primary. Independents are expected to break heavily for these two gentlemen. Romney's "I like to fire people" moment was just one part of his overall poor week and I expect his numbers to be affected accordingly, though I still expect him to win handily. It'll be up to the pundits to decide who was the "winner" of the night, that is, who beat their expectations the most.
As tonight is my 28th birthday, my brother Chad will be visiting Denver to celebrate with me. I can't imagine that he'll want to watch the returns all night with me, so we'll find common ground by blasting some brain cells with some tasty beers. Previously, I had expected to give some vodka reviews tonight since the primary wasn't expected to be all that exciting, but I will save those for next week. South Carolina's primary is two weeks away, so I will assess the state of the Republican field while sipping on a number of vodkas. Stay tuned!
I have a few very interesting beers lined up to celebrate my birthday including a fruit flavored Eisbock from Kuhnhenn. Eisbock is a pretty unique style of beer that is actually utilizes ice distillation. First, the beer is fermented as usual. Once fermentation is complete, the beer is lowered to temperature below 32° F, at which point the water in the beer begins to freeze. Alcohol has a lower freezing point than water, so if the temperature is not lowered too much, you can freeze a portion of the water, remove the resulting ice, and then let the beer return to a non-freezing temperature. Since water is removed from the beer but all of the alcohol remains, the alcohol content of the beer is increased. Kuhnhenn is a small brewery in the Detroit metro area and produces some of the finest beers (and meads!) in the world. Tonight I will be tasting Raspberry Eisbock, which is currently rated the 25th best beer in the world per RateBeer. Two of Kuhnhenn's other products, Bourbon Barrel Barley Wine and Bourbon Barrel Fourth Dementia Old Ale were among the best beers I've ever had. In the past, I have even suggested the the Bourbon Barrel Barley Wine might be the greatest beer I have ever had the pleasure of drinking (though I think it's more likely that Rochefort 10 or Goose Island Rare Bourbon County Stout is my favorite beer of all-time). In addition to those two fine beers, I have tasted a few of their meads which vary from an interesting honey flavored red hot (Cinnamonster from Hell) to a fucking tasty vanilla, bourbon mead (Bourbon Barrel Vanilla Gorillabilly). Kuhnhenn has very limited distribution and all of the products that I have mentioned are very limited. I believe that you need to attend one of their Solstice parties to actually have the chance of purchasing any of these products. Since I usually do not spend my solstices in Detroit, I had to trade for all the previously mentioned products (which do hold considerable trade value).
6:00 PM EST: Romney 36%, Paul 24%, Huntsman 18%, Gingrich 10%, Santorum 10%, Perry 1% (13% reporting) Fox Noise...errr, Fox News has already called the race for Mitt Romney. Whoopty-fucking-do. The big race is for second, third, and fourth place. 29% of late deciders went for Romney and 22% went for Huntsman. Looks like Huntsman had some momentum, but it's probably too little too late. Five minutes later, Fox Noise projects Ron Paul for second place and John Huntsman for third place. Chad and I are heading to a local sportsbar for some BBQ and brews. The only thing exciting that I'll be missing will be Megyn Kelly coverage on mute. Speaking of Megyn Kelly, my favorite ditzy blonde Fox Noise correspondent, tonight she's wearing a dark blue-violet blazer with a white undershirt, sexy pink lipstick, and a moderately wavy, mid length hairdo. Thank you, Megyn, for giving me one thing to look forward to during the six hour coverage of sub-human neanderthals providing their chickenshit analysis.
7:24 PM EST: Romney is out declaring victory right now.
9:47 PM EST: Romney 38%, Paul 24%, Huntsman 17%, Santorum 10%, Gingrich 10% (67% reporting) Let the beer tasting begin! I finally got a buzz going. We may need to get the fireworks going after too long to celebrate Willard's crazy awesome night. Now on to beer! Haandbryggeriet is famous brewery out of Norway that ships many of their offerings abroad. Most of their offerings I've found slightly above average, though it may be that some have faded en route to America. Tonight, I am Haandbryggeriet Krøkkebic, a sour ale made with crowberries.. This bottle ran about $11/ 500 mL. Krøkkebic has a pinkish purple appearance with a small white head that is gone in no time and smells of tart cranberries and raspberries, oak, and light funk. Tart albeit in dull cran-raspberry flavor with light funk, light barnyard, vinegar, a bit of cheese, and moderate water. Pretty light aftertaste. The flavor is a bit watery and the fruit flavor is a little bland, not all that interesting, and not very complex.
Aroma: 7/10, Appearance: 3/5, Taste: 7/10, Palate: 4/5, Overall: 11/20
11:07 PM EST: Romney 38%, Paul 23%, Huntsman 17%, Gingrich 10%, Santorum 10% (82% reporting) It will be a poor night for Santorum if he ends up in fifth place. How the fuck do you spin a fifth place finish when you're supposed to be the main alternative to Romney? Gay rights activists have been hassling this guy nonstop, especially now that Bachmann is no longer in the race. Someone asked Santorum this week that if it was ok to abort gay babies! HAHAHA! Santorum probably could have easily responded that he believes being gay is a choice, but I think he just completely ignored the dude. This guy is the least electable Republican candidate in the field, so I'm hoping he turns it around. This past fall, Samuel Adams included a smoked beer, or Rauchbier, in their mixed twelve pack for the first time. I've always really enjoyed Samuel Adams seasonals, so I am very excited to try this one, Bonfire Rauchbier. Bonfire pours a dark brown appearance with a small to medium sized tan head. It has a toasty, burnt malty aroma with notes of smoky wood, dark caramel, and toffee. Toasty, caramel, bacon, mildly smoky, burnt woody flavor. The smokiness is very tame but the beer overall is pretty decent. Of course, this baby is nearly as good as its German counterparts.
Aroma: 7/10, Appearance: 3/5, Taste: 7/10, Palate: 4/5, Overall: 12/20
1:14 PM EST: Mitt Romney 39%, Ron Paul 23%, Jon Huntsman 17%, Newt Gingrich 9%, Rick Santorum 9%, Rick Perry 1% Now for the highlight of the night! Kuhnhenn Raspberry Eisbock pours a deep red violet appearance with little to no head. Rich raspberry syrupy, caramel, toffee, mild chocolate aroma. Rich, somewhat tart, raspberry fruity, caramel, toffee flavor. Honestly, this has a lot of flavor going on but it has burnt, tar-like taste that I don't particularly care for. This was poured from a 2007 nip bottle. I'm quite disappointed based on the previous beers that I had from Kuhnhenn, but it was was fun to try nonetheless.
Aroma: 8/10, Appearance: 3/5, Taste: 8/10, Palate: 4/5, Overall: 15/20
Well it was a fucking boring night if you were watching the primary. Willard had a good night and it appears that Huntsman didn't do well enough to become relevant. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Willard will lose against Obama, and Huntsman will match very well against any potential challengers (Rubio, Christie, Romney-ha!, etc) in 2016. Next week, I'll assess the state of the race in the run up to South Carolina and give some vodka reviews!
Cheers!
Aaron Nielsen
Back by popular demand, our intrepid alco-political correspondent, Mr. Aaron Nielsen, gives us his take on yesterday's New Hampshire primary. The Festung Europa editorial staff and our partners at the GBCN World Centre in Uranium City, Saskatchewan, would like to wish our reporter a belated happy birthday!
CRM
Tuesday, January 10, 2012. Buckle up, folks. New Hampshire is celebrating my 28th birthday by holding the nation's first primary of 2012. Six major candidates (and Buddy Roemer) remain in the race to become the Republican nominee for president. Before we start getting plowed to this seemingly inconsequential event, here's an update on the field accompanied by a relevant YouTube clip:
Mitt Romney & Newt Gingrich
Jon Huntsman
Jon Huntsman, aka Magic Underpants No. 2, served President Obama as his Chinese ambassador. Supposedly, the Obama administration foresaw him as one of the strongest opponents in a re-election bid and was nominated to the ambassadorship in an attempt to mitigate this possibility. Arguably, it has hurt his candidancy being a part of the Obama regime, but he turned it into a huge positive at Sunday's debate when Willard challenged him on this point. Huntsman was very effective in his response by saying he put his country first and was not a partisan politician like Romney. 'Country First' was been a rallying cry at his recent events. New Hampshire is do or die for Huntsman and really needs a second place finish to stay relevant in this race.
Ron Paul
Rick Santorum
Rick Perry
What the fuck is this guy doing? According to polls, he's at 1% in New Hampshire and 5% in South Carolina. Maybe he's staying in the race to angle for a position in a future administration in a trade for an endorsement, but honestly, I think he is just a dipshit.
Buddy Roemer
4:41 PM EST: Huntsman 33%, Romney 33%, Gingrich 17%, Ron Paul 17% (with1% reporting). The first results of the New Hampshire Republican primary are in from Dixville (the town in New Hampshire, not the club in Prague that Chris Meyer frequents). (Ed. note: I prefer Hot Peppers.) Well, there are only six total votes cast thus far, but it's a nice start for Huntsman, who does seem to have some momentum. Before we get too many more vote tallies, it's time for some predictions from Real Clear Politics, (I adjusted their numbers to account for undecideds according to their current proportion), Nate Silver of 538, and yours truly.
Aaron: Romney 34%, Huntsman 21%, Paul 20%, Santorum 12%, Gingrich 11%, Perry 1%, Roemer 1%
538: Romney 39%, Paul 19%, Huntsman 17%, Santorum 12%, Gingrich 12%, Perry 1%
RCP: Romney 40%, Paul 19%, Huntsman 16%, Santorum 12%, Gingrich 11%, Perry 1%
My predictions for Iowa were pretty poor, as I expected the order at the top to be Paul, Santorum, then Romney. Final results, in fact, showed it to be Romney/Santorum then Paul. RCP and 538 predicted Romney, Paul, then Santorum. Jon Huntsman appears to have some momentum at the moment, but it may be too little, too late. I expect Paul and especially Huntsman to outperform the polls as independents are allowed to vote in either the Democratic or Republican primary. Independents are expected to break heavily for these two gentlemen. Romney's "I like to fire people" moment was just one part of his overall poor week and I expect his numbers to be affected accordingly, though I still expect him to win handily. It'll be up to the pundits to decide who was the "winner" of the night, that is, who beat their expectations the most.
As tonight is my 28th birthday, my brother Chad will be visiting Denver to celebrate with me. I can't imagine that he'll want to watch the returns all night with me, so we'll find common ground by blasting some brain cells with some tasty beers. Previously, I had expected to give some vodka reviews tonight since the primary wasn't expected to be all that exciting, but I will save those for next week. South Carolina's primary is two weeks away, so I will assess the state of the Republican field while sipping on a number of vodkas. Stay tuned!
I have a few very interesting beers lined up to celebrate my birthday including a fruit flavored Eisbock from Kuhnhenn. Eisbock is a pretty unique style of beer that is actually utilizes ice distillation. First, the beer is fermented as usual. Once fermentation is complete, the beer is lowered to temperature below 32° F, at which point the water in the beer begins to freeze. Alcohol has a lower freezing point than water, so if the temperature is not lowered too much, you can freeze a portion of the water, remove the resulting ice, and then let the beer return to a non-freezing temperature. Since water is removed from the beer but all of the alcohol remains, the alcohol content of the beer is increased. Kuhnhenn is a small brewery in the Detroit metro area and produces some of the finest beers (and meads!) in the world. Tonight I will be tasting Raspberry Eisbock, which is currently rated the 25th best beer in the world per RateBeer. Two of Kuhnhenn's other products, Bourbon Barrel Barley Wine and Bourbon Barrel Fourth Dementia Old Ale were among the best beers I've ever had. In the past, I have even suggested the the Bourbon Barrel Barley Wine might be the greatest beer I have ever had the pleasure of drinking (though I think it's more likely that Rochefort 10 or Goose Island Rare Bourbon County Stout is my favorite beer of all-time). In addition to those two fine beers, I have tasted a few of their meads which vary from an interesting honey flavored red hot (Cinnamonster from Hell) to a fucking tasty vanilla, bourbon mead (Bourbon Barrel Vanilla Gorillabilly). Kuhnhenn has very limited distribution and all of the products that I have mentioned are very limited. I believe that you need to attend one of their Solstice parties to actually have the chance of purchasing any of these products. Since I usually do not spend my solstices in Detroit, I had to trade for all the previously mentioned products (which do hold considerable trade value).
6:00 PM EST: Romney 36%, Paul 24%, Huntsman 18%, Gingrich 10%, Santorum 10%, Perry 1% (13% reporting) Fox Noise...errr, Fox News has already called the race for Mitt Romney. Whoopty-fucking-do. The big race is for second, third, and fourth place. 29% of late deciders went for Romney and 22% went for Huntsman. Looks like Huntsman had some momentum, but it's probably too little too late. Five minutes later, Fox Noise projects Ron Paul for second place and John Huntsman for third place. Chad and I are heading to a local sportsbar for some BBQ and brews. The only thing exciting that I'll be missing will be Megyn Kelly coverage on mute. Speaking of Megyn Kelly, my favorite ditzy blonde Fox Noise correspondent, tonight she's wearing a dark blue-violet blazer with a white undershirt, sexy pink lipstick, and a moderately wavy, mid length hairdo. Thank you, Megyn, for giving me one thing to look forward to during the six hour coverage of sub-human neanderthals providing their chickenshit analysis.
7:24 PM EST: Romney is out declaring victory right now.
9:47 PM EST: Romney 38%, Paul 24%, Huntsman 17%, Santorum 10%, Gingrich 10% (67% reporting) Let the beer tasting begin! I finally got a buzz going. We may need to get the fireworks going after too long to celebrate Willard's crazy awesome night. Now on to beer! Haandbryggeriet is famous brewery out of Norway that ships many of their offerings abroad. Most of their offerings I've found slightly above average, though it may be that some have faded en route to America. Tonight, I am Haandbryggeriet Krøkkebic, a sour ale made with crowberries.. This bottle ran about $11/ 500 mL. Krøkkebic has a pinkish purple appearance with a small white head that is gone in no time and smells of tart cranberries and raspberries, oak, and light funk. Tart albeit in dull cran-raspberry flavor with light funk, light barnyard, vinegar, a bit of cheese, and moderate water. Pretty light aftertaste. The flavor is a bit watery and the fruit flavor is a little bland, not all that interesting, and not very complex.
 | |
| Haandbryggeriet Krøkkebic |
11:07 PM EST: Romney 38%, Paul 23%, Huntsman 17%, Gingrich 10%, Santorum 10% (82% reporting) It will be a poor night for Santorum if he ends up in fifth place. How the fuck do you spin a fifth place finish when you're supposed to be the main alternative to Romney? Gay rights activists have been hassling this guy nonstop, especially now that Bachmann is no longer in the race. Someone asked Santorum this week that if it was ok to abort gay babies! HAHAHA! Santorum probably could have easily responded that he believes being gay is a choice, but I think he just completely ignored the dude. This guy is the least electable Republican candidate in the field, so I'm hoping he turns it around. This past fall, Samuel Adams included a smoked beer, or Rauchbier, in their mixed twelve pack for the first time. I've always really enjoyed Samuel Adams seasonals, so I am very excited to try this one, Bonfire Rauchbier. Bonfire pours a dark brown appearance with a small to medium sized tan head. It has a toasty, burnt malty aroma with notes of smoky wood, dark caramel, and toffee. Toasty, caramel, bacon, mildly smoky, burnt woody flavor. The smokiness is very tame but the beer overall is pretty decent. Of course, this baby is nearly as good as its German counterparts.
 |
| Samuel Adams Bonfire Rauchbier |
1:14 PM EST: Mitt Romney 39%, Ron Paul 23%, Jon Huntsman 17%, Newt Gingrich 9%, Rick Santorum 9%, Rick Perry 1% Now for the highlight of the night! Kuhnhenn Raspberry Eisbock pours a deep red violet appearance with little to no head. Rich raspberry syrupy, caramel, toffee, mild chocolate aroma. Rich, somewhat tart, raspberry fruity, caramel, toffee flavor. Honestly, this has a lot of flavor going on but it has burnt, tar-like taste that I don't particularly care for. This was poured from a 2007 nip bottle. I'm quite disappointed based on the previous beers that I had from Kuhnhenn, but it was was fun to try nonetheless.
 |
| Kuhnhenn Raspberry Eisbock |
Well it was a fucking boring night if you were watching the primary. Willard had a good night and it appears that Huntsman didn't do well enough to become relevant. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Willard will lose against Obama, and Huntsman will match very well against any potential challengers (Rubio, Christie, Romney-ha!, etc) in 2016. Next week, I'll assess the state of the race in the run up to South Carolina and give some vodka reviews!
Cheers!
Aaron Nielsen
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