Super Tuesday Recap and Bottlecaps
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We'll be covering beers a bit different tonight with very short reviews of numerous beers. First up is Lake Placid IPA which features a fairly dark maltiness for an IPA with notes of nuts and earth and a bitter finish. I'd pass on Lake Placid IPA and rate it 3.5/10.0. Next I tried Lake Placid Ubu Ale, an English Strong Ale. This beer had a burnt toffee, nutty flavor and wasn't bad: 5.5/10.0. To finish off my Lake Placid collection, I tasted Lake Placid Barkeater Amber Ale. This one had a caramelized, sugary flavor with a nasty, fruity-like element: 3.0/10.0.
Here's what MSNBC analyst Chuck Todd is suggesting will be a good night in terms of delegates for the various candidates: Mitt Romney 200-220, Rick Santorum 115-130, Newt Gingrich 70-80, Ron Paul 30-35. There are 416 delegates at stake in tonight's primaries, so Mitt Romney would love to win a majority of tonight's delegates. Evidently, Rick Santorum fucked up and is not eligible for delegates in certain districts in Ohio.
6:39 PM EST: Some of the primaries will be closing in the next twenty minutes but until then, we get "expert" analysis. MSNBC analysts are really focusing on the Rush Limbaugh controversy and how it's amazing that Rick Santorum is actually still in the race. These fuckwads are just spouting the typical liberal agenda. Let's turn it over to Fox Noise! Snoopy lookalike, Brit Hume, is suggesting a prolonged nomination fight that may result in noone getting a majority of delegates. I see this as quite unlikely, as Newt has been collecting very few delegates and isn't expected to turn it around anytime soon.
I'm now tasting Mikkeller Hoppy Easter, a German-style IPA from the Danish brewery, Mikkeller. I thought that this one must have been just released but it appears to be nearly a year old. This IPA really combines the grass and straw elements of German hops with new world grapefruit and citrus hops. Hoppy Easter is a winner: 7.0/10.0. It's nice to finally have a nice beer to sip/chug while watching this shit show of analysis on Fox Noise. "Blah blah blah candidate Obama blah blah blah now president Obama blah blah." It sounds like there could be a clash between Israel and Iran soon and the Republican candidates are all showing how pro-Israel they are by indirectly suggesting that we should strike Iran. Just what we need- another war in the Middle East. Fuck. Juan Williams, the token moderate (Ed. note: token black guy?) on Fox Noise, is saying that the Republican candidates are using too strong of rhetoric on Iran and now he is getting it from all angles from the Fox panel.
7:00 PM EST: Shephard Smith is already calling the race in Georgia for Newt Gingrich. Right now, Fox's decision team are saying Virginia and Vermont are both too close to call with a two way race between Romney and Paul in these states. As you may remember, only Romney and Paul are on the ballot in Virginia due to their antiquated rules that have incredible requirements to get on the ballot. Fox News is really playing up how amazing that it is that they can't call Virginia and Vermont for Romney right now. They are suggesting that this is a possible huge anti-Romney trend.
7:17 PM EST: Fox just called Virginia for Romney which isn't very surprising. Paul should pick up a significant number of delegates in Virginia.
7:27 PM EST: Vermont was just called for Mitt Romney. Evidently, Ron Paul did better than expected here. Polls in Ohio will be closing in about three minutes. I just cracked open a De Molen Bed & Breakfast, a light ale brewed with a fuck load of coffee. The burnt, roasty coffee really dominates this beer: 4.5/10.0.
7:30 PM EST: Ohio's polls just closed and it is still too close to call. Santorum is not eligible for delegates in three congressional districts due to his staff failing to submit paperwork on time. Shephard Smith: "What is Ron Paul's game? He isn't going to win? What is his game?" Shut the fuck up, Shep. I'm sick of Fox Noise always dismissing Ron Paul.
7:56 PM EST: More contests are closing in a couple of minutes, so I'm going to quickly crack a beer, St Feuillien Grand Cru. This is a strong, Belgian golden ale and has a lemon citrusy flavor, spicy yeast, and a fairly dry finish: 7.0/10.0.
8:00 PM EST: Fox is calling Oklahoma (which just closed) for Anal Mess, which is his first win of the evening. Santorum is narrowly leading Romney by a percent or two in Ohio with 1% reporting. Romney, who was already called the winner of Virginia, is holding a 60/40 lead over Paul there. Newt is winning Georgia by over twenty points. Tennessee has yet to be called and should be somewhat of a bellwether for the day.
8:32 PM EST: Ohio (1.7% reporting): Romney 40%, Santorum 37%
Tennessee (1.4% reporting): Santorum 45%, Romney 28%
Results are coming in seemingly at a snail's pace, so I'm going to try Middle Ages Swallow Wit, a Belgian-style Witbier from a Syracuse-based brewery. This beer is quite citrusy with lots of orange peel and coriander and overall, a pretty drinkable beer: 7.0/10.0. Be warned: my bottle was a gusher upon opening. The Fox Noise is getting pretty monotonous, so I'm switching back to the liberal MSNBC. We're still mainly just waiting on two races: Tennessee and Ohio. Some results in Southwestern Ohio are a little discouraging for Santorum, but very little of the vote has been tallied thus far.
Newt's on stage: "I love Obama's speeches. They are so deliciously ignorant." I like that one, Newt. Now, Newt is making fun of Obama for suggesting algae for fuel. I can't believe how much these numbskull Republicans are so against science and research. Fuck them. Newt did mention that "now we move on to Alabama!" This is fucking hilarious, as Newt has only won South Carolina, Georgia, and the Florida Panhandle or as Chris Matthews says, "this little cluster." Well, Chris, let's hope this clusterfuck continues and Barry breezes to an easy re-election bid.
9:06 PM EST: Tennessee has just been called by MSNBC for Santorum which is a huge win for him. Santorum was a slight favorite, but still this was a somewhat essential win. With 14% of Ohio reporting, Santorum is clinging to a two point lead. Santorum is now coming out for his speech, which will probably be a doozy, so I'm going to try a bottle of Captain Lawrence Captain’s Reserve Imperial IPA. This Double IPA had a huge grapefruit citrus hoppy aroma and flavor. I think that bottle that I tasted wasn't all that fresh, but this one was overall pretty good: 6.5/10.0. Santorum: "Obamacare... This is the beginning of the end of freedom in America." "Right now, under 50% of Americans get financial assistance from the government. After Obamacare, it will be 100%." Huh? What the fuck does that mean?
9:38 PM EST: Ohio (32% reporting): Santorum 39%, Romney 36%
Romney is up on stage in Boston giving his victory speech. He was in Massachusetts today to vote for himself. Unfortunately for Newt Gingrich, he couldn't vote for himself in Virginia where he's registered, as he didn't meet the requirements for the ballot. Fuck wad. I just opened a Brooklyn East India Pale Ale and it was blah, so I'll skip the details. Now up: Brooklyn Brown Ale. Bleh- this one is forgettable too: 4.0/10.0. Brooklyn Ale (aka Brooklyn Pennant Ale 55) is also a forgettable beer: 5.0/10.0.
10:37 PM EST: Ohio (72% reporting): Santorum 39%, Romney 37%
It's still too close to call in Ohio with some of Romney's strongholds still outstanding. Fox Noise just called North Dakota for Rick Santorum, which I guess isn't all the surprising, as Anal Mess has swept the Midwestern states that have voted so far. I've been through so many mediocre beers that I'm starting to lose my patience, so I'm going open Ithaca Excelsior! White Gold which should be a winner. Ithaca is well known for their Excelsior! series which includes Le Bleu and Brute, both of which are excellent. White Gold features a prominent grapefruit hoppiness and a spicy yeasty element that makes for a very nice, Belgian strong/wheat ale: 7.5/10.0. This baby has given me some new energy.
10:52 PM EST: Ohio (85% reporting): Santorum 38%, Romney 37%
Oh shit! The diffence in the vote is down to around 3,000 votes. This baby is going to be a squeaker, so I may be up the next few hours waiting for this race to be called. Fortunately, I only have a minor buzz and several nice beers to still taste. White Gold has been a very nice beer to have a pint of I must say. Ithaca Beer Co makes a ton of really quality beers but a few outstanding beers. Idaho was just called for Mitt and you shouldn't be too surprised by this as the state is full of Mormons. Evidently, Romney's people are very optimistic for Ohio despite him being behind by 3,000 votes. 86% of counties are now reporting in Ohio and Romney just re-took the lead from Santorum.
11:48 PM EST: Ohio (92% reporting): Romney 37.7%, Santorum 37.2%
It's really starting to look like Romney is going to get a slim victory, as many of the outstanding districts favor him. It's really unfortunate, as an Ohio win for Santorum would be a game changer, but it's really hard for the Romney folks to spin this victory is a positive manner. On the positive side, I just popped open a Rodenbach Grand Cru, a sour, fruity beer from Belgium. This baby has a ton of oak, lots of fruit (cherries, plums, berries), and a vinegar-like flavor (in the good way). It's really refreshing and goes down incredibly easy: 8.5/10.0. MSNBC has been exploring the possibility that Santorum may ask Newt to leave the race, but I think this is all just bored pundits coming up with shit to talk about after six hours of coverage. Newt may win two race next week in the Southeast and he'll choose when he'll leave. Sarah Palin is on Fox Noise just now, as the Alaskan caucuses are closing. She said that she voted for Newt Gingrich (isn't that an endorsement?) Bret Baier just asked Sarah Palin if Fox Noise's coverage has been fair. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
12:08 AM EST: Ohio (96% reporting): Romney 37.8%, Santorum 37.2%
Ron Paul actually ended up in second place in North Dakota, where he gave his "victory" speech earlier tonight. In addition, Ron Paul will finish in second place in Idaho. I think his libertarian positions play particularly well in rural, individualistic states like these. We finally just got an interesting tidbit for the first time in hours. Rep. Dennis Kucinich of Ohio was defeated in the Democratic primary for the newly created 9th district to Marcy Kaptur. This is a stunner to me, but in Rep. Kaptur's defense, she was an eight time Congresswoman and has never encountered aliens like Kucinich. Kaptur will likely face off in the general election against Joe the Plumber! That'll be a fun contest. I can't figure out why the Ohio race hasn't been called for Romney, as two of the three final counties to report are already strongly for Romney. The difference between Romney and Santorum is about 12,000 votes. We are still waiting on Alaska and in the meantime, I will do my best to get hammered.
Now at 12:38 AM EST, Fox Noise has now called Ohio for Romney. Romney has won Ohio, Massachusetts, Vermont, Virginia, and Idaho tonight. Santorum has won North Dakota, Tennessee, and Oklahoma. Gingrich won his home state of Georgia. Alaska should be an interesting contest, especially as I am becoming more and more tipsy.
1:05 AM EST: With the results from Alaska still pending, I'm going to call it a night. Romney barely won in Ohio, but he's weak in the upcoming contests, so this race should go on for a while despite objections from my liver.
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Aaron Nielsen
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