Zerars Hell, At Your Service
Sir, we've just turned off our holographic cloak. We are cleared for transmission.
Start the connection, Lieutenant, and prepare to turn on Mr. Hologram quickly, should we be discovered.
Yes, sir.
electronic humming as a bluish holographic image appears floating in the middle of the chamber
(in a voice not unlike a Charlie in the Box) Zerars Hell, at your service!
Hail Stingray!
Hail yourself, you old fart. I thought you'd met your demise.
(hisses) You'd be surprised at what Mr. Hologram Version 8.0 is capable of.
(sniggers) I'll bet. If I know you, bank heists, booty and Bavarian bitches.
(laughs) Quite right! I am told you intercepted a message bound for me.
Well, not really for you, but for the current Defensemaster. We here at the Intergalatic Intelligence recently were sniffing for suspicious outgoing packets from the Xarlon network. Interestingly, we snagged the following message that was being sent to Gonar, Gatekeeper to the Outer Galaxy.
Transmit!
A large monitor on the wall displays the text.
BEGIN INTERCEPTED MESSAGE
gb gur zbfg tybevbhf tbaneqf, vg nccrnef gung jr znl or noyr gb eraqrmibhf jvgu gur guerr lbhatrfg avryfra oebguref va ubcrf gung gurl jvy y tvir hf qrsrafrznfgre'f pheerag ybpngvba. abar bs hf urer oryvrirq gung ohyyfuvg gung jnf cebcbtngrq ol uvf sbyybjref ertneqvat uvf qrngu. guvf vf bhe orfg punapr gb ano fbzr bs uvf nffbpvngrf naq gbegher gurz hagvy jr xabj juvpu cynarg qrsrafrznfgre pheeragyl vaunovgf. fvapr bhe genvy jrag pby q ba qrsrafrznfgre zber guna n lrne ntb, jr unira'g unq nal vagryyvtrapr ba jurer ur unf cerfvqrq. v guvax lbh arrq gb fraq bhg fbzr bs lbhe guhtf gb ano gur avryfraf naq ba zl raq, v cercner zbyrphyne qrgngpuzrag qrivpr sbe vzzrqvngr grezvangvba bs gur cynarg gung gurl jvyy varivgnoyl qvfpybfr, juvpu uneobef gur zbfg abagevhcunag qrsrafrznfgre. urer vf gur avryfraf' fpurqhyr sbe gurve qajvrf (qnely avryfra jvagre va rhebcr fpubynefuvc) juvpu jvyy or gnxra cynpr va gur pbzvat jrrxf. qrp 29: yrnir qraire 30: neevir va zhavpu 31: zhavpu 1: zhavpu gb orytvhz 2: orytvhz 3: orytvhz 4: orytvhz gb nzfgreqnz 5: nzfgreqnz 6: nzfgreqnz 7: nzfgreqnz gb nhfgevn 8: nhfgevn 9: nhfgevn gb zhavpu 10: zhavpu 11: zhavpu 12: yrnir zhavpu njnvgvat lbhe ercyl, kneyba
END OF INTERCEPTED MESSAGE
Decode!
BEGIN OF DECODED MESSAGE
To the most glorious Gonards,
It appears that we may be able to rendezvous with the three youngest Sons of Niels in hopes that they will give us Defensemaster's current location. None of us here believed that bullshit that was propogated by his followers regarding his death. This is our best chance to nab some of his associates and torture them until we know which planet Defensemaster currently inhabits. Since our trail went cold on the Defensemaster more than a year ago, we haven't had any intelligence on where he has resided. I think you need to send out some of your thugs to nab these Sons of Niels and on my end, I shall prepare the Molecular Detatchment Device for immediate termination of the planet that they will inevitably disclose, which harbors the most non-triumpant Defensemaster. Here is their schedule for their DNWIES (Daryl Nielsen Winter In Europe Scholarship) which will be taken place in the coming weeks.
Dec 29: Depart Western Hemisphere
30: Arrive in Munich
31: Munich
1: Munich to Belgium
2: Belgium
3: Belgium
4: Belgium to Amsterdam
5: Amsterdam
6: Amsterdam
7: Amsterdam to Austria
8: Austria
9: Austria to Munich
10: Munich
11: Munich
12: Depart Munich
Awaiting your reply,
THE XARLON NETWORK
END OF DECODED MESSAGE
(hisses) Most interesting.
Do you really think that Gonar is receiving Xarlon message traffic?
Most certainly not. I have never doubted his loyalty. He even retrieved my "remains", after all.
The message itself appears to be encoded using a two millennia old technique of a Caesar Shift Cipher, with the shift equal to 13. There are inconsistencies in the message too, as you should be able to see. First among the inconsistencies is the referral to Gonar as "Gonards". Also, Xarlon misspelled “triumphant”. What terminal in our galaxy would allow such a misspelling to be existent in an outgoing message?
Yes, that is indeed peculiar.
Finally, I don't think the Xarlons would use such an insecure form of communication and encryption. This may be a diversion.
They wanted us to intercept it.
I'll leave the truthfulness of this message up to you, but I think you may want to send out a message to the Sons of Niels ASAP to schedule your own meeting with them if it's, in fact, reliable intelligence.
I shall, perhaps, send a proxy to check things out. The whole thing stinks of a Xarlon trap.
Something is rotten in Denmark, as they say.
That may be the key to the puzzle, Zerars Hell. Thank you, that is all.
You're welcome. Hail Stingray!
Hail Stingray!
holographic transmission ends
(rising from command chair) Mr. Hologram, engage!
Start the connection, Lieutenant, and prepare to turn on Mr. Hologram quickly, should we be discovered.
Yes, sir.
electronic humming as a bluish holographic image appears floating in the middle of the chamber
(in a voice not unlike a Charlie in the Box) Zerars Hell, at your service!Hail Stingray!
Hail yourself, you old fart. I thought you'd met your demise.
(hisses) You'd be surprised at what Mr. Hologram Version 8.0 is capable of.
(sniggers) I'll bet. If I know you, bank heists, booty and Bavarian bitches.
(laughs) Quite right! I am told you intercepted a message bound for me.
Well, not really for you, but for the current Defensemaster. We here at the Intergalatic Intelligence recently were sniffing for suspicious outgoing packets from the Xarlon network. Interestingly, we snagged the following message that was being sent to Gonar, Gatekeeper to the Outer Galaxy.
Transmit!
A large monitor on the wall displays the text.
BEGIN INTERCEPTED MESSAGE
gb gur zbfg tybevbhf tbaneqf, vg nccrnef gung jr znl or noyr gb eraqrmibhf jvgu gur guerr lbhatrfg avryfra oebguref va ubcrf gung gurl jvy y tvir hf qrsrafrznfgre'f pheerag ybpngvba. abar bs hf urer oryvrirq gung ohyyfuvg gung jnf cebcbtngrq ol uvf sbyybjref ertneqvat uvf qrngu. guvf vf bhe orfg punapr gb ano fbzr bs uvf nffbpvngrf naq gbegher gurz hagvy jr xabj juvpu cynarg qrsrafrznfgre pheeragyl vaunovgf. fvapr bhe genvy jrag pby q ba qrsrafrznfgre zber guna n lrne ntb, jr unira'g unq nal vagryyvtrapr ba jurer ur unf cerfvqrq. v guvax lbh arrq gb fraq bhg fbzr bs lbhe guhtf gb ano gur avryfraf naq ba zl raq, v cercner zbyrphyne qrgngpuzrag qrivpr sbe vzzrqvngr grezvangvba bs gur cynarg gung gurl jvyy varivgnoyl qvfpybfr, juvpu uneobef gur zbfg abagevhcunag qrsrafrznfgre. urer vf gur avryfraf' fpurqhyr sbe gurve qajvrf (qnely avryfra jvagre va rhebcr fpubynefuvc) juvpu jvyy or gnxra cynpr va gur pbzvat jrrxf. qrp 29: yrnir qraire 30: neevir va zhavpu 31: zhavpu 1: zhavpu gb orytvhz 2: orytvhz 3: orytvhz 4: orytvhz gb nzfgreqnz 5: nzfgreqnz 6: nzfgreqnz 7: nzfgreqnz gb nhfgevn 8: nhfgevn 9: nhfgevn gb zhavpu 10: zhavpu 11: zhavpu 12: yrnir zhavpu njnvgvat lbhe ercyl, kneyba
END OF INTERCEPTED MESSAGE
Decode!
BEGIN OF DECODED MESSAGE
To the most glorious Gonards,
It appears that we may be able to rendezvous with the three youngest Sons of Niels in hopes that they will give us Defensemaster's current location. None of us here believed that bullshit that was propogated by his followers regarding his death. This is our best chance to nab some of his associates and torture them until we know which planet Defensemaster currently inhabits. Since our trail went cold on the Defensemaster more than a year ago, we haven't had any intelligence on where he has resided. I think you need to send out some of your thugs to nab these Sons of Niels and on my end, I shall prepare the Molecular Detatchment Device for immediate termination of the planet that they will inevitably disclose, which harbors the most non-triumpant Defensemaster. Here is their schedule for their DNWIES (Daryl Nielsen Winter In Europe Scholarship) which will be taken place in the coming weeks.
Dec 29: Depart Western Hemisphere
30: Arrive in Munich
31: Munich
1: Munich to Belgium
2: Belgium
3: Belgium
4: Belgium to Amsterdam
5: Amsterdam
6: Amsterdam
7: Amsterdam to Austria
8: Austria
9: Austria to Munich
10: Munich
11: Munich
12: Depart Munich
Awaiting your reply,
THE XARLON NETWORK
END OF DECODED MESSAGE
(hisses) Most interesting.
Do you really think that Gonar is receiving Xarlon message traffic?
Most certainly not. I have never doubted his loyalty. He even retrieved my "remains", after all.
The message itself appears to be encoded using a two millennia old technique of a Caesar Shift Cipher, with the shift equal to 13. There are inconsistencies in the message too, as you should be able to see. First among the inconsistencies is the referral to Gonar as "Gonards". Also, Xarlon misspelled “triumphant”. What terminal in our galaxy would allow such a misspelling to be existent in an outgoing message?
Yes, that is indeed peculiar.
Finally, I don't think the Xarlons would use such an insecure form of communication and encryption. This may be a diversion.
They wanted us to intercept it.
I'll leave the truthfulness of this message up to you, but I think you may want to send out a message to the Sons of Niels ASAP to schedule your own meeting with them if it's, in fact, reliable intelligence.
I shall, perhaps, send a proxy to check things out. The whole thing stinks of a Xarlon trap.
Something is rotten in Denmark, as they say.
That may be the key to the puzzle, Zerars Hell. Thank you, that is all.
You're welcome. Hail Stingray!
Hail Stingray!
holographic transmission ends
(rising from command chair) Mr. Hologram, engage!
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