An Important Announcement from Tirana!
We interrupt GBCN's "Lifestyles of the Rich and Farmers with Ivan Andersen" to bring you this important announcement!
Mark: This is Mark Kingsley at the GBCN World Centre in Uranium City, Saskatchewan. We have just been informed by our sources in Tirana, Albania, that self-proclaimed dictator, Loren Christensen, has just declared war on another European country, eh. We are going live now to our Southeast European correspondent, Chad Hitler, in Tirana. Chad, are you there?
Chad: Yes, Mark, it seems that the "Leader" of Greater Albania, as this former Iowa used car dealer likes to be called, has indeed declared war, this time on everyone's favorite European country to invade, Poland. Our sources close to the dictator have said that since 0600 hours Central European Summer Time this morning, the greatly outmatched Albanian Air Force has been conducting an aerial bombardment of Polish targets. What makes this declaration of war really remarkable, Mark, is that Poland and Albania don't even share a common border, meaning those planes will be lucky to even make it over Serbian airspace, not to mention Hungarian and Slovakian airspace on their way toward Warsaw. OK, it looks like the dictator himself is about to take to his balcony at the Tirana Best Western for an important address.
Mark: How many spectators would you estimate are in the crowd there, eh?
Chad: I don't know, Mark, it's hard to say. Maybe fifteen or twenty, including the hotel cleaning crew? OK, here he comes. I'll do the running translation.
Sporadic clapping.
Qytetarët e mi të dashur të Shqipërisë së Madhe!
My beloved citizens of Greater Albania!
Unë kam sot, të biznesit për të ardhur keq të ju informuar se një gjendje lufte ka ekzistuar mes nesh dhe qytetarëve luftënxitës të Perandorisë të Polonisë.
I have, today, the unfortunate business of informing you that a state of war has existed between ourselves and the warmongering citizens of the Empire of Poland.
Agresionit treguar nga këto Marauders suxhuk hahet është thjesht e patolerueshme.
The aggression shown by these sausage eating marauders is simply intolerable.
Prandaj, unë kam urdhëruar 49 burrat e forcës ajrore ynë i dashur, nën drejtimin e Kryekomandant Anthony Bochicchio për të hapur armiqësive pasi ne pauzë të këndojë himnin tonë kombëtar, dhe të falenderoj sponsorët tonë, natyrisht, Budweiser, Simpoziumi Ndërkombëtar Gjeometri, me nevoja të veçanta falë, natyrisht, Rolling Stones.
Accordingly, I have ordered the 49 men of our beloved air force, under the direction of Generalissimo Anthony Bochicchio to open hostilities after we pause to sing our national anthem, and thank our sponsors, of course, Budweiser, The International Geometry Symposium, with special thanks to, of course, The Rolling Stones.
Unë do të të jetë i pakujdesshëm nuk falenderuar Shoqata e Fermerëve Iowa ardhmen e Amerikës dhe zonat e ndryshme të tij të krahut të djathtë ', pa të cilin ky agresion imperialiste dhe dhuna nuk do të pakuptimtë të jetë e mundur.
I would be remiss not thanking the Iowa Association of the Future Farmers of America and its various right wing constituencies without which this imperialist aggression and senseless violence would not be possible.
Pas zjarrit pamëshirëshme nga avioni 6 tona 1954 Yak sovjetike, një ulje amfib pranë portit të Danzig do të zhvillohet më shumë se birra dhe një ski pak ujë.
After the merciless barrage from our 6 1954 soviet Yak aircraft, an amphibious landing near the port of Danzig will take place over beers and a little water skiing.
Qij tyre, kjo është në, man!
Fuck them, it’s on, man!
Louder clapping and a few whistles.
Duke u kthyer në pikën tonë lëvizje të vonë, unë jam duke folur një herë për nevojën urgjente për të frenuar një futje e yndyrave të ngopura dhe konservuesëve të tjera.
Turning to our buzz point of late, I am speaking once more of the urgent need to curb one’s intake of saturated fats and other preservatives.
Ne kurrë nuk do të marrë përsipër në jug Evropën qendrore të qenë një bandë e djathë pasterizuar hahet gomarët yndyrë.
We will never take over south central Europe being a bunch of pasteurized cheese eating fatasses.
Shikoni ju, vetëm shikoni! Vlerësojmë tuaja janë mjaft të mëdha të jetë i licencuar në dy qarqe.
Look at you, just look! Your ASSES are big enough to be licensed in two counties.
Asnjëherë mos humbur një vakt keni, ju bandë e idiot yndyrë!!!
Never missed a meal have ya, ya bunch of fat fuckers!!!
Ju dyfishtë prapanicë Oreo hahet, gomarët sallo. Ju shtrat hipur patatina hahet fuçi mut!!!
Ya double butted Oreo eating, lardasses. Ya couch ridin’ potato chip eatin’ tubs a shit!!!
Së fundi, unë do të doja të betohet për besnikëri tim për të gjitha gjërat e vogla pasojë, zemrat e të mëdha, dhe natyrisht, gratë e lehtë.
Lastly, I would like to swear my allegiance to all things of little consequence, large breasts, and of course, easy women.
Faleminderit.
Thank you.
Crickets.
Chad: Well, Mark, that's something you don't hear every day. A leader of a country berating his own people for being obese!
Mark: I suppose he's not too off the mark, eh. But then again, take a look at this fine specimen of Albanian womanhood. She could be our next Festung Europa Girl of the Week!
Mark: And have you heard anything about the fate of the Albanian Air Force over Poland?
Chad: Not yet, Mark. But it doesn't look good, to say the least.
Mark: OK, Chad, thanks a lot for your commentary, eh. This is Mark Kingsley reporting. We now return to our irregularly scheduled programming on GBCN, the God Bureau Cable Network.
Mark: This is Mark Kingsley at the GBCN World Centre in Uranium City, Saskatchewan. We have just been informed by our sources in Tirana, Albania, that self-proclaimed dictator, Loren Christensen, has just declared war on another European country, eh. We are going live now to our Southeast European correspondent, Chad Hitler, in Tirana. Chad, are you there?
Chad: Yes, Mark, it seems that the "Leader" of Greater Albania, as this former Iowa used car dealer likes to be called, has indeed declared war, this time on everyone's favorite European country to invade, Poland. Our sources close to the dictator have said that since 0600 hours Central European Summer Time this morning, the greatly outmatched Albanian Air Force has been conducting an aerial bombardment of Polish targets. What makes this declaration of war really remarkable, Mark, is that Poland and Albania don't even share a common border, meaning those planes will be lucky to even make it over Serbian airspace, not to mention Hungarian and Slovakian airspace on their way toward Warsaw. OK, it looks like the dictator himself is about to take to his balcony at the Tirana Best Western for an important address.
Mark: How many spectators would you estimate are in the crowd there, eh?
Chad: I don't know, Mark, it's hard to say. Maybe fifteen or twenty, including the hotel cleaning crew? OK, here he comes. I'll do the running translation.
Sporadic clapping.
Qytetarët e mi të dashur të Shqipërisë së Madhe!
My beloved citizens of Greater Albania!
Unë kam sot, të biznesit për të ardhur keq të ju informuar se një gjendje lufte ka ekzistuar mes nesh dhe qytetarëve luftënxitës të Perandorisë të Polonisë.
I have, today, the unfortunate business of informing you that a state of war has existed between ourselves and the warmongering citizens of the Empire of Poland.
Agresionit treguar nga këto Marauders suxhuk hahet është thjesht e patolerueshme.
The aggression shown by these sausage eating marauders is simply intolerable.
Prandaj, unë kam urdhëruar 49 burrat e forcës ajrore ynë i dashur, nën drejtimin e Kryekomandant Anthony Bochicchio për të hapur armiqësive pasi ne pauzë të këndojë himnin tonë kombëtar, dhe të falenderoj sponsorët tonë, natyrisht, Budweiser, Simpoziumi Ndërkombëtar Gjeometri, me nevoja të veçanta falë, natyrisht, Rolling Stones.
Accordingly, I have ordered the 49 men of our beloved air force, under the direction of Generalissimo Anthony Bochicchio to open hostilities after we pause to sing our national anthem, and thank our sponsors, of course, Budweiser, The International Geometry Symposium, with special thanks to, of course, The Rolling Stones.
Unë do të të jetë i pakujdesshëm nuk falenderuar Shoqata e Fermerëve Iowa ardhmen e Amerikës dhe zonat e ndryshme të tij të krahut të djathtë ', pa të cilin ky agresion imperialiste dhe dhuna nuk do të pakuptimtë të jetë e mundur.
I would be remiss not thanking the Iowa Association of the Future Farmers of America and its various right wing constituencies without which this imperialist aggression and senseless violence would not be possible.
Pas zjarrit pamëshirëshme nga avioni 6 tona 1954 Yak sovjetike, një ulje amfib pranë portit të Danzig do të zhvillohet më shumë se birra dhe një ski pak ujë.
After the merciless barrage from our 6 1954 soviet Yak aircraft, an amphibious landing near the port of Danzig will take place over beers and a little water skiing.
Qij tyre, kjo është në, man!
Fuck them, it’s on, man!
Louder clapping and a few whistles.
Duke u kthyer në pikën tonë lëvizje të vonë, unë jam duke folur një herë për nevojën urgjente për të frenuar një futje e yndyrave të ngopura dhe konservuesëve të tjera.
Turning to our buzz point of late, I am speaking once more of the urgent need to curb one’s intake of saturated fats and other preservatives.
Ne kurrë nuk do të marrë përsipër në jug Evropën qendrore të qenë një bandë e djathë pasterizuar hahet gomarët yndyrë.
We will never take over south central Europe being a bunch of pasteurized cheese eating fatasses.
Shikoni ju, vetëm shikoni! Vlerësojmë tuaja janë mjaft të mëdha të jetë i licencuar në dy qarqe.
Look at you, just look! Your ASSES are big enough to be licensed in two counties.
Asnjëherë mos humbur një vakt keni, ju bandë e idiot yndyrë!!!
Never missed a meal have ya, ya bunch of fat fuckers!!!
Ju dyfishtë prapanicë Oreo hahet, gomarët sallo. Ju shtrat hipur patatina hahet fuçi mut!!!
Ya double butted Oreo eating, lardasses. Ya couch ridin’ potato chip eatin’ tubs a shit!!!
Së fundi, unë do të doja të betohet për besnikëri tim për të gjitha gjërat e vogla pasojë, zemrat e të mëdha, dhe natyrisht, gratë e lehtë.
Lastly, I would like to swear my allegiance to all things of little consequence, large breasts, and of course, easy women.
Faleminderit.
Thank you.
Crickets.
Chad: Well, Mark, that's something you don't hear every day. A leader of a country berating his own people for being obese!
Mark: I suppose he's not too off the mark, eh. But then again, take a look at this fine specimen of Albanian womanhood. She could be our next Festung Europa Girl of the Week!
Mark: And have you heard anything about the fate of the Albanian Air Force over Poland?
Chad: Not yet, Mark. But it doesn't look good, to say the least.
Mark: OK, Chad, thanks a lot for your commentary, eh. This is Mark Kingsley reporting. We now return to our irregularly scheduled programming on GBCN, the God Bureau Cable Network.
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