Channel Surfing
(a television screen full of static)
1st channel: A bearded, graying man stands in front of an altar. "And that is why we need your donations, folks, to keep our ministry going, to keep the word alive! We can't do it without you. So now, please rise and turn to page 147 in your hymnal and we'll sing together, 'What a Friend We Have in Wotan."
*flip*
2nd channel: "GBCN brought you Back to Saskatchewan, and now..." (Another voice) "They will take it away."
*flip*
3rd channel: "Und jetzt ein Blick auf das Wetter. Morgen gibt es Gewitter."
*flip*
4th channel: "Spanning the globe, to bring you a wide variety of..."
*flip*
5th channel: "I just couldn't believe that my own sister would be moving in on MY man! (Crowd boos)"
*flip*
6th channel: "Penile dysfunction can be cured over 90% of the time..."
*flip*
7th channel: (Woman with a few too many plastic surgeries in an tight, leather flight suit is standing on the tarmac of an airport.) "Welcome to Flyboys, I'm Victoria Principal. This week, we are going to be testing some classic aircraft with none other than a classic aviator. We're here at the Southern California Logistics Airport in Victorville where we'll be flying with none other than retired Lieutenant Colonel Fred 'Blitzkrieg Bob' Smith of the famed 666th Flying Buffalo Fuckers Squadron, whose motto, "Everything in Excess", is, I guess, good advice for anyone. So stay tuned as we check out some timeless planes with Blitzkrieg Bob."
1st channel: A bearded, graying man stands in front of an altar. "And that is why we need your donations, folks, to keep our ministry going, to keep the word alive! We can't do it without you. So now, please rise and turn to page 147 in your hymnal and we'll sing together, 'What a Friend We Have in Wotan."
*flip*
2nd channel: "GBCN brought you Back to Saskatchewan, and now..." (Another voice) "They will take it away."
*flip*
3rd channel: "Und jetzt ein Blick auf das Wetter. Morgen gibt es Gewitter."
*flip*
4th channel: "Spanning the globe, to bring you a wide variety of..."
*flip*
5th channel: "I just couldn't believe that my own sister would be moving in on MY man! (Crowd boos)"
*flip*
6th channel: "Penile dysfunction can be cured over 90% of the time..."
*flip*
7th channel: (Woman with a few too many plastic surgeries in an tight, leather flight suit is standing on the tarmac of an airport.) "Welcome to Flyboys, I'm Victoria Principal. This week, we are going to be testing some classic aircraft with none other than a classic aviator. We're here at the Southern California Logistics Airport in Victorville where we'll be flying with none other than retired Lieutenant Colonel Fred 'Blitzkrieg Bob' Smith of the famed 666th Flying Buffalo Fuckers Squadron, whose motto, "Everything in Excess", is, I guess, good advice for anyone. So stay tuned as we check out some timeless planes with Blitzkrieg Bob."
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