Back to Saskatchewan Mailbag

Greetings dear readers throughout fifty-six countries in the free world! I’m Mark Kingsley, whom you may remember as Camouflage Mariner from the GBCN television show, Back to Saskatchewan, during the mid-1980’s. Defensemaster has called me out of my retirement to tackle his overwhelming flow of reader mail from my secret complex on the shores of beautiful Lake Athabasca in Uranium City, Saskatchewan, so here it goes, eh. Let’s take a look a our first reader letter:

Dear Defensemaster,

I see that sometimes you have some interesting chats with people on your blog. How do I get the chance to do some chattin’ and what type of chatting device do I need?

Chad in Chattanooga

Dear Chad,

Well, there are a variety of ways to go about this, but let me tell you about a few of them. You can either download AIM from www.aim.com or use what is known as AIM Express, which is the internet application, and thus doesn’t require a download, eh. If you are behind a corporate firewall, that may be the best way to go, unless you can enter your proxy server settings into AIM and they are allowed. You will need to establish an account with AIM and utilize what the old CB’ers will recognize as a handle, also known as your IM (instant messenger) ID. By the way, remember my show on GBCN from the mid-1970’s, John Roberg's Truckin' Stud Highway, where I played trucker and all-around good guy, Bob Boswell? My handle was “Boston”, but you can choose whatever you wish, as long as it isn’t utilized by someone already, eh.

Once you have your AIM handle and are set up, you can add “Defensemaster1” to your buddy list, and you will be able to see when he is online and then send him an instant message. Be aware, though, that fighting the Xarlon Army is a full-time job, and he may not be able to chat at your convenience.

So, let’s dig into the mailbag a little deeper and see what else we can find, eh. Ah, here looks to be a good one, coffee stains and all.

Dear Defensemaster,

My wife and daughter are on the same cycles now, so I have to put up with two women menstruating at once. Charming to say the least. Emotionally, this world just is a mess these days. I have trouble finding anything positive to say about anything. I wish I could just inherit my money and tell the whole world to just stick it. Sometimes in life, it just doesn't matter how hard you try or work, it just doesn't. What should I do?

Desperate in Des Moines

Dear Desperate,

Don’t despair, eh! My recommendation to you would be to get out of the house more often. That way you can avoid the bloody mess, as they say in Britain. And yes, the deck of life is stacked against you. The only solution is to refuse to play the game! Take up your own personal hobby! Egyptian lasso jumping would be a good place to start. Or better yet, perhaps you could drown your sorrows in alcohol or illicit drugs. It works for me, eh!

Well, that wraps up our Back to Saskatchewan Mailbag for now. It’s been a pleasure, eh. I’m Mark Kingsley, signing off from beautiful Uranium City!