Back to Saskatchewan Mailbag
Greetings, dear readers, throughout fifty-six countries of the free world! It is I, Mark Kingsley, again, reporting to you from my dark and snowy outpost on the icy shores of beautiful Lake Athabasca and lovely Uranium City, Saskatchewan. The northern lights are glowing, and so am I; our dark elves have been working extra hard in the uranium mines this season, since we have an extra shipment to send off to our Stingray Regime freedom fighters this Christmas! Plus, Defensemaster's Viper 6000 shuttlecraft and other vehicles within the Stingray Regime's fleet require a goodly amount of our radioactive product to stay humming on the highway and blasting through the galaxy. So whether you are building a dirty bomb or just powering your interstellar spacecraft, think genuine Uranium City Uranium, 'cause any other radioactive substance just doesn't glow for it, eh.
We've literally been inundated with mail this time of year, as sometimes the Northern Sled Dog Postal System (NSDPS) drivers get drunk and lazy after a few hot toddies at our local tavern and just drop off the North Pole mail here. So it takes a little careful filtering on the part of our complex staff to separate what little Timmy wants from St. Nick and those important issues of the day which Defensemaster has kindly asked me, Camouflage Mariner, to address. Let's get to it then, eh! I think we have time again this week for a couple letters from our readers.
Oh, here is an interesting missive from the Aquaburg area:
Dear Defensemaster,
An Adelante in Aquaburg
Dear Adelante,
It is nice to here from another solstice sufferer enjoying the pleasures of modern music in Minnesota, eh. I think, however, that no cure is necessary--your production of dark and beautiful art far outweighs the disadvantages of any abuse your dish out on your family. If it takes smacking the old lady and kids around to create a masterpiece, then so be it. Your critics are short-sighted and lack your creative vision!
Please send me a copy of your manifesto when it is written, as our readers throughout the free world would certainly enjoy another bit of Weltanschauung thrown at them. Additionally, I commend your survival instincts and wish to become self-sufficient. Along those lines, I thank you for recommending the book by Michael Pollard and I would add a couple to that list as well. The first are Gene Logsdon's two seminal works, The Contrary Farmer and The Contrary Farmer's Introduction to Gardening. They will provide you guidance in your quest for independence. And on the poetic side, pick up a copy of Wendell Berry's Farming: A Hand Book. The links are for Amazon so you can research the titles, but please support your local bookseller instead! May these volumes give you the wherewithall to hang in there and get back to nature. Good luck!
Well, let's see what other mail we can find for this week's Mailbag. Ah, this one smells of the tropics, nutty and fruity. It reads:
Dear Defensemaster,
I recently moved to Florida to be with my beloved, and after a bit of searching, have come up with two job offers. One, I could work in a Target, be a manager and make pretty good money, or two, I could work as a Disney World character for less. I'm torn! What should I do?
Obfuscated in Orlando
Dear Obfuscated,
Ah, that certainly is a dilemma. One is a job where you will be respected by most everyone, make a decent living and have a bit of responsibility, and the other seems to most people like a big joke. I would do, in this case, what I usually wouldn't recommend, and that is to follow the general advice most everyone would give: be a Disney World character! No one gives a damn about some peon "manager" in the retail hierarchy, but as a Disney World character, you could bring a whole lot of people much fun and happiness. It is good karma, whereas the Target manager will return in the next life as a cockroach.
Well, that's all for now, folks. Thanks for tuning in again this week to Back to Saskatchewan Mailbag, eh! I'm Mark Kingsley, signing off from beautiful Uranium City.
We've literally been inundated with mail this time of year, as sometimes the Northern Sled Dog Postal System (NSDPS) drivers get drunk and lazy after a few hot toddies at our local tavern and just drop off the North Pole mail here. So it takes a little careful filtering on the part of our complex staff to separate what little Timmy wants from St. Nick and those important issues of the day which Defensemaster has kindly asked me, Camouflage Mariner, to address. Let's get to it then, eh! I think we have time again this week for a couple letters from our readers.
Oh, here is an interesting missive from the Aquaburg area:
Dear Defensemaster,
I snatched a peek at your blog and read of your new love for Joanna Newsom. She got some airtime here in MN on the local station- interesting and different is always great.
Along that vein- you would appreciate the lyrics and possibly the music of a few of my favorite current artists- "The Decemberists" and a young genius named "Sufjan Stevens".
Xmas has me a little uneasy. The weight of job and kids and the insufferable wife is made more terrible by the shortened days. I had never noticed that I was a bastard as the solstice approached, but I think that I will no longer fight it and use it- tell off the stinky guy at the gas station, yell at the wife, create dark and terrible and beautiful art. Maybe I'll escape to a cave or a cabin or the loft of a barn and execute my Manifesto.
I scanned further down your blog and would encourage you to review the book "Omnivore's Dilemma", by Michael Pollan, a critical review of the role of corn and super farms and lack of diversity as we approach a critical point in our culture.
I, for one, am eager to attempt to grow ALL MY OWN FOOD for one year. I expect that I would start in the fall of next year, after one complete growing season. I think I'll add food that I harvest or kill on my own- nuts, apples, venison and fishies.
There- I went on too long.
keep well-
An Adelante in Aquaburg
Dear Adelante,
It is nice to here from another solstice sufferer enjoying the pleasures of modern music in Minnesota, eh. I think, however, that no cure is necessary--your production of dark and beautiful art far outweighs the disadvantages of any abuse your dish out on your family. If it takes smacking the old lady and kids around to create a masterpiece, then so be it. Your critics are short-sighted and lack your creative vision!
Please send me a copy of your manifesto when it is written, as our readers throughout the free world would certainly enjoy another bit of Weltanschauung thrown at them. Additionally, I commend your survival instincts and wish to become self-sufficient. Along those lines, I thank you for recommending the book by Michael Pollard and I would add a couple to that list as well. The first are Gene Logsdon's two seminal works, The Contrary Farmer and The Contrary Farmer's Introduction to Gardening. They will provide you guidance in your quest for independence. And on the poetic side, pick up a copy of Wendell Berry's Farming: A Hand Book. The links are for Amazon so you can research the titles, but please support your local bookseller instead! May these volumes give you the wherewithall to hang in there and get back to nature. Good luck!
Well, let's see what other mail we can find for this week's Mailbag. Ah, this one smells of the tropics, nutty and fruity. It reads:
Dear Defensemaster,
I recently moved to Florida to be with my beloved, and after a bit of searching, have come up with two job offers. One, I could work in a Target, be a manager and make pretty good money, or two, I could work as a Disney World character for less. I'm torn! What should I do?
Obfuscated in Orlando
Dear Obfuscated,
Ah, that certainly is a dilemma. One is a job where you will be respected by most everyone, make a decent living and have a bit of responsibility, and the other seems to most people like a big joke. I would do, in this case, what I usually wouldn't recommend, and that is to follow the general advice most everyone would give: be a Disney World character! No one gives a damn about some peon "manager" in the retail hierarchy, but as a Disney World character, you could bring a whole lot of people much fun and happiness. It is good karma, whereas the Target manager will return in the next life as a cockroach.
Well, that's all for now, folks. Thanks for tuning in again this week to Back to Saskatchewan Mailbag, eh! I'm Mark Kingsley, signing off from beautiful Uranium City.
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