Congratulations to the Brothers Nielsen!

We at Festung Europa would like to extend our heartiest congratulations to the brothers, Aaron and Justin Nielsen, who are graduating today from Colorado State University in Fort Collins. Aaron, pictured here on the left, is receiving a Bachelor of Science degree in Electrical Engineering and a Bachelor of Science in Mathematics, while Justin is receiving his Bachelor of Science in Environmental Engineering. Of course, festivities are planned for the entire weekend in the Front Range of the Rockies. Aaron and Justin are celebrating with a huge, star-studded, blowout bash, aptly entitled a KEG (Keep Everyone Guzzling) party tomorrow evening at their luxury apartment. I would personally like to thank them for the invitation, but alas, I am unable to attend. I do send my regrets, as there is nothing I like more than a chance to seduce young, inebriated college girls. We shall raise a glass to them here at Iguana Wanda's instead!

Regarding their future plans, Aaron has decided to continue his pursuit of hot, young mothers in the 30-35 age bracket, while Justin plans to see just how many different beers he can drink before the age of 30. We, of course, wish both of them much success in these challenging yet necessary endeavors.