I'm Back
For those regular, faithful and eternally-gentle readers of Festung Europa who have missed me during the past while, I am back. My mid-winter funk has turned to brilliant spring-like sunshine, my piece of shit laptop has a new mainboard (the third one this year) and I am feeling spirited and deviant. I feel like dancing the Dance of Spring! Hey Hunchback! Go fuck Turf!
For those who have missed the Girl of the Week feature, I place the blame on my supplier of cheap thrills, Mr. Aaron Nielsen, Esquire, whom I thought was a player, but instead is just a nerd like me. I thank him, however, for providing me with a link up into the decadent, skin-filled world of the Colorado State University Facebook, providing me perhaps with an opportunity to troll for wenches on my own. I am still keeping my fingers crossed for a photo shoot of the entire CSU girls' frisbee team posing in academic fashion, albeit in their underwear, on the steps of some imposing, neoclassical building. It is YOUR mission, Double A! I know you can come through on this one.
For those who have missed the Back to Saskatchewan Mailbag, stay tuned motherfucker. Mark and his wild and wacky world of the North Country will return with more provocative, compelling, hilarious and crazy shit from none other than YOU, gentle reader.
For those who are still pining for Interesting People on the Fringe, that well-read and well, interesting, feature from last summer...you may be in luck. I am considering possible sequels along the lines of Interesting Chicks I Have Banged and Interesting Drunks I Have Known. Again, stay tuned!
For those who need to liven up their social life, get ready for a new column from that Gatekeeper Of The Outer Galaxy, Gonar, who has offered to submit a new FEature, Gonar's Drink of the Month. Cheers!
For those who are waiting for the next installment of The Mark Kingsley Show, I hear Mark, Dick and Hermann are working on a huge, vernal extravanganza to celebrate the equinox, which will be the last equinox this century to occur on March 21st, according to Greenwich time. It is sure to be a real hit, so if you can't get tickets for the Prospector Theatre in beautiful Uranium City, keep a lookout here at Festung Europa, where the answer to all questions is still yes...and no!
For those who have missed the Girl of the Week feature, I place the blame on my supplier of cheap thrills, Mr. Aaron Nielsen, Esquire, whom I thought was a player, but instead is just a nerd like me. I thank him, however, for providing me with a link up into the decadent, skin-filled world of the Colorado State University Facebook, providing me perhaps with an opportunity to troll for wenches on my own. I am still keeping my fingers crossed for a photo shoot of the entire CSU girls' frisbee team posing in academic fashion, albeit in their underwear, on the steps of some imposing, neoclassical building. It is YOUR mission, Double A! I know you can come through on this one.
For those who have missed the Back to Saskatchewan Mailbag, stay tuned motherfucker. Mark and his wild and wacky world of the North Country will return with more provocative, compelling, hilarious and crazy shit from none other than YOU, gentle reader.
For those who are still pining for Interesting People on the Fringe, that well-read and well, interesting, feature from last summer...you may be in luck. I am considering possible sequels along the lines of Interesting Chicks I Have Banged and Interesting Drunks I Have Known. Again, stay tuned!
For those who need to liven up their social life, get ready for a new column from that Gatekeeper Of The Outer Galaxy, Gonar, who has offered to submit a new FEature, Gonar's Drink of the Month. Cheers!
For those who are waiting for the next installment of The Mark Kingsley Show, I hear Mark, Dick and Hermann are working on a huge, vernal extravanganza to celebrate the equinox, which will be the last equinox this century to occur on March 21st, according to Greenwich time. It is sure to be a real hit, so if you can't get tickets for the Prospector Theatre in beautiful Uranium City, keep a lookout here at Festung Europa, where the answer to all questions is still yes...and no!
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