The Mark Kingsley Show: Vincent Norby Interview

(Orchestra finishes with Scruffy the Cat’s Never, Never)

(applause)

Mark: Thanks folks. We’re here, eh, with Ostara and Ted Solomon. Ostara, I always wanted to ask you something…

Ostara: Yes, Mark?

Mark: Well, spring being your time and all, well, what do you do in the off-season?

Ostara: I spend my time off in Saskatoon.

(laughter, Mark chuckles)

Ostara: No, but seriously, it takes a lot out of me getting everything jump started and growing again after the long winter…traditionally, I spend the late fall and winter underground.

Mark: So kind of like our entire organization?

Ostara: Not quite covert, Mark, but underground.

Ted: Wh-wh-what she MEANS, Mark, is that she, like her Greek incarnation, Persephone, spends the time of winter, a time of non-growth, i.e. death, within the earth. Th-th-this can be seen on a physical level in the seed, the egg, if you will, which remains dormant in the earth over the long winter, awaiting it’s time of growth and blossoming in spring.

Ostara: Why, Ted, you DO know your stuff! (strokes Ted’s balding noggin)

Ted: (blushes) Wh-wh-why, thank you! (giggles)

Mark: Ah, I guess I kind of understand, eh. So you REALLY go physically underground?

Ostara: Mark, since I am a goddess, we are talking in the language of symbols here.

Ted: Ostara symbolizes the awakening of growth and fertility after the long winter, Mark. Her festival coincides with the vernal equinox, which we are celebrating tonight.

Mark: Let’s get the ball rolling then, eh. My next guest is the personal astronomical advisor to the Defensemaster of the Stingray Regime. He’s a former president of the Ames Astronomical Society, and a charming fellow. Please welcome to the show, Professor Vincent Norby!

(Orchestra starts up with Drops of Jupiter)

(applause)

(Vincent comes out from behind the curtain, a tall, bespectacled, balding man in a tweed jacket and tie. He waves briefly to the audience, and comes over to the guests, shaking Ostara’s, Ted’s and Mark’s hands, and seating himself between Ostara and Mark.)

Mark: Spring greetings to you, Professor!

Vincent: (speaking in an emphatic English accent) Please call me, Vincent, Mark.

Mark: Well, Vincent, thanks for joining us this evening. Do you know Ostara?

Vincent: Ah, yes, we met at a reception at Festung Europa a few years ago.

Ostara: Oh, I had almost forgotten about that conference.

Mark: What conference was that?

Vincent: The Defensemaster, in cooperation with the God Bureau, sponsored a reception in honor of the Venus transit across the face of the sun on June 8, 2004.

Ted: (puffs on pipe) Ah, that makes sense.

Mark: How so?

Ted: (takes swig from beer bottle) Well, Mark, the planet Venus represents the Mother Goddess, as such, Ostara. In addition to being associated with the dawn twilight, Ostara is naturally also associated with the planet Venus, often called the morning or evening star, as it is often quite prominent in the twilight.

Vincent: Yes, that’s quite right. It is the brightest object in the heavens after the sun and moon. And you can see Venus now in the evening sky…you can’t miss it.

Ostara: (huffily) Unfortunately my Roman colleague got the planet named for her.

Mark: Well, let’s not get too upset…you’ve still got people’s attention with Easter, after all.

Ostara: You’re right, Mark, but let me tell you, it is difficult to get people’s attentions nowadays. A lot of the former mysteries of life have been “explained”, so they think, by the new “religion”, science.

Mark: What is your view as a scientist, Vincent?

Vincent: Mark, I think that science and religious beliefs can be reconciled. Going back to what Ted said before I came on the show, it all has to do with the interpretation of the symbol.

Mark: What do you mean?

Vincent: Both science and religion attempt to explain the physical world. But there are limits to each. Science, for all its exactitude, comes up against the wall so to speak, when we start dealing with the great mystery. Take the big bang, for example. We are pretty sure something akin to that occurred about 13.7 billion years ago. But what set it off? What were the conditions before it? We may never find out empirically. And religion also has limitations.

Ted: (puffing on pipe) Yes, religion, of course, has the problem of literal interpretation of symbols. When you literally believe that the earth was created in six days, you tend to have a problem with the scientific evidence to the contrary. It is irreconcilable. (chuckles and outstretches arms) Just look at the fossil record! But when you look beyond to the literal interpretation to a symbolic interpretation, it becomes, in my opinion, much more meaningful.

Mark: And what would the symbolic interpretation be here?

Ted: That the Earth, this creation of God,, be it Jehovah, Allah, Shiva or Wakan Tanka, is inheritantly good and that mankind, being a reflection of this creative power, is entrusted with its care.

Mark: I’m sure there are a lot of folks that would try to argue its literal interpretation with you, Ted.

Ted: (strokes beard) Yes, yes…but these are the same people who are unfortunately convinced of their own righteousness.

(applause)

Mark: Wow, we kind of got off track in our discussion, folks. Vincent, you are here to explain the vernal equinox to us.

Vincent: Ah yes, Mark. Tonight is the vernal, or spring equinox.* (looks at his watch) And we have now 7:05 p.m., central daylight time. Two minutes to equinox!

Mark: Dick, could you send out the dwarves with the shots of Jägermeister?

Ted: (eyes open up) Wonderful! A celebratory libation!

Mark: Yes, this goes back a long way, eh.

Vincent: Yes, the Jägermeister shot is a traditional seasonal offering, so to speak, within the Stingray Regime.

Ostara: We have this same tradition among my adherents, but they usually do this with horns and mead.

Ted (puffs on pipe): Oh, you mean a symbel, the drinking tradition of the Norse and Anglo-Saxons!

Mark: Let the symbol stuff go, Ted. We have less than two minutes here.

(laughter)

Ostara: He means symbel with an “e”, Mark.

Mark: Uh, OK, eh.

(A dwarf carrying a silver tray with icy shots of Jägermeister enters from behind the stage. Other dwarves distribute the same drink to members of the audience.)

Mark: Hermann, could we have a bit of seasonal music, eh?

Hermann: Okey dokey, Mark! (Turns to orchestra, raises baton, and orchestra starts with Vivaldi’s Spring from The Four Seasons. House lights dim. Spotlight on Vincent, now standing midstage at the microphone.)

Vincent: Ladies and gentlemen, the vernal equinox marks the end of winter and the beginning of spring. It is the point when the sun can be observed directly above the equator, which means it is crossing the celestial equator as well. It is the time of equal day and night, measured from the center of the sun, and it is also when the sun appears to rise directly in the east and appears to set directly in the west. The days will now start getting longer, culminating at the summer solstice. Please join me now in a toast to spring, and to our honored guest, Ostara! (raises glass) Cheers!

All: Cheers! (all down Jägermeister shots)

Ostara: Thank you, everyone! May love blossom in your hearts!

(applause)

Ted: Wonderful!

(Orchestra continues)

Mark: We’ll be right back!

(applause)

*Program was recorded on March 20th.