Back to Saskatchewan Mailbag
Greetings, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another addition of Back to Saskatchewan Mailbag here on GBCN, the God Bureau Cable Network. It is I, Mark Kingsley, Camouflage Mariner, reporting to you, denizens of the fifty-six nations of the free world, from the shores of beautiful Lake Athabasca, Saskatchewan, just on the outskirts of Uranium City. The days are getting noticeably longer here, folks, and we were indeed blessed by the astronomical opportunity last week to catch a glimpse of Comet McNaught here in the North Country, as Defensemaster did in Central Europe. It used to be that a comet was often seen as a bad omen, but I like to think of it as lucky, eh, especially since this one was pretty darn elusive.
Before we dig into this week's mailbag, here is a special greeting going out to a special little boy in Fort Collins, Colorado. Justin is celebrating his birthday today, and guess what folks, his dreams have been answered...he's getting what he always wanted: a pony! Just remember not to feed him too much corn, Justin, or he'll founder, eh, and that means he may just make it to our next sacrifice to Odin, where horseflesh is always appreciated.
This week's mailbag is brought to you by the good girls of the Sansi-Bar, where it is not the face you fuck but the fuck you face, and by, Anby!
"Anby, bib you have a nice holibay?"
"No, it suckeb. I bibn't get anything I wanteb. No pet bog, no Ipob, no CB player...not a bamn thing...just unberwear anb bungarees!"
Anby, they wanted to call him Andy, but they didn't have a "d" in their alphabet, now in syndication only on GBCN!
Let's take a look at our first letter this week, eh. Oh, this one looks like it has gone to hell's post office and back. Let's see if I can make out what our writer scribbled on it:
Dear Defensemaster,
I see that you folks are imbibing henbane beer at Iguana Wanda's. Thanks for the link to the recipe as well. Now I have a question. What kind of effects can I expect from this witch's brew? Frankly, I am scared, as I have read that there is a fine line between enjoying the ride and driving off the cliff.
Sincerely,
Nervous in Nevada
Dear Nervous,
I understand your misgivings. Henbane is pretty darn dangerous. But in terms of dosage, I do recommend the beer method, as you can best control the amount of drug you intake. Actually, the BBC did a series called Sacred Weeds, which we were lucky enough to get on GBCN as well. One show was dedicated to henbane, and here are the links for it:
Sacred Weeds: Henbane Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V
The dudes in this series get their dosage from a henbane brew, and were probably right in stopping after the first round. Remember, it isn't Bud Light. And good luck, Nervous, on your journey to the center of your mind.
Our next letter comes from a gentle reader on the Indian subcontinent. She writes:
Dear Defensemaster,
A few months ago, you announced a new Festung Europa series called The Fashion Freak by K. Well, where is it? Is this another thing you people build up as the "next great thing" and then simply let fall by the wayside? I'm disappointed. I was looking forward to a female's voice in this predominantly male blog.
Yours Truly,
Chahna in Calcutta
Dear Chahna,
I guess I will have to take personal responsibility here. I put my faith in what turned out to be the fecklessness of the young. Sometimes young people just don't own up to their responsibilities as we older folks would like. But try to remember back when you were young and the world was at your doorstep. Did you want responsibility? Hell no, you wanted to party! So it is with this in mind that I ask for your continued patience. We hope to have K's column shortly.
Well, that's it for another edition of Back to Saskatchewan Mailbag, folks. It's been a pleasure, eh. This is Mark Kingsley signing off from beautiful Uranium City.
Before we dig into this week's mailbag, here is a special greeting going out to a special little boy in Fort Collins, Colorado. Justin is celebrating his birthday today, and guess what folks, his dreams have been answered...he's getting what he always wanted: a pony! Just remember not to feed him too much corn, Justin, or he'll founder, eh, and that means he may just make it to our next sacrifice to Odin, where horseflesh is always appreciated.
This week's mailbag is brought to you by the good girls of the Sansi-Bar, where it is not the face you fuck but the fuck you face, and by, Anby!
"Anby, bib you have a nice holibay?"
"No, it suckeb. I bibn't get anything I wanteb. No pet bog, no Ipob, no CB player...not a bamn thing...just unberwear anb bungarees!"
Anby, they wanted to call him Andy, but they didn't have a "d" in their alphabet, now in syndication only on GBCN!
Let's take a look at our first letter this week, eh. Oh, this one looks like it has gone to hell's post office and back. Let's see if I can make out what our writer scribbled on it:
Dear Defensemaster,
I see that you folks are imbibing henbane beer at Iguana Wanda's. Thanks for the link to the recipe as well. Now I have a question. What kind of effects can I expect from this witch's brew? Frankly, I am scared, as I have read that there is a fine line between enjoying the ride and driving off the cliff.
Sincerely,
Nervous in Nevada
Dear Nervous,
I understand your misgivings. Henbane is pretty darn dangerous. But in terms of dosage, I do recommend the beer method, as you can best control the amount of drug you intake. Actually, the BBC did a series called Sacred Weeds, which we were lucky enough to get on GBCN as well. One show was dedicated to henbane, and here are the links for it:
Sacred Weeds: Henbane Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V
The dudes in this series get their dosage from a henbane brew, and were probably right in stopping after the first round. Remember, it isn't Bud Light. And good luck, Nervous, on your journey to the center of your mind.
Our next letter comes from a gentle reader on the Indian subcontinent. She writes:
Dear Defensemaster,
A few months ago, you announced a new Festung Europa series called The Fashion Freak by K. Well, where is it? Is this another thing you people build up as the "next great thing" and then simply let fall by the wayside? I'm disappointed. I was looking forward to a female's voice in this predominantly male blog.
Yours Truly,
Chahna in Calcutta
Dear Chahna,
I guess I will have to take personal responsibility here. I put my faith in what turned out to be the fecklessness of the young. Sometimes young people just don't own up to their responsibilities as we older folks would like. But try to remember back when you were young and the world was at your doorstep. Did you want responsibility? Hell no, you wanted to party! So it is with this in mind that I ask for your continued patience. We hope to have K's column shortly.
Well, that's it for another edition of Back to Saskatchewan Mailbag, folks. It's been a pleasure, eh. This is Mark Kingsley signing off from beautiful Uranium City.
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