A Birthday Toast to the Double A - Ron
Half past four at Iguana Wanda's, the Festung Europa Official Cantina and Bar, in a bunker complex deep within the heart of Europe:
*taps Gerber dagger on stoneware beer mug, filled with henbane beer*
"Ladies and Gentlemen, may I have your attention, please? It has come to my attention through the miracle of MySpace (Official Motto: It's not just for perving on young girls anymore!) that our comrade and nephew, Monsieur Aaron Nielsen, Esquire, of Fort Collins, Colorado, is celebrating his twenty-third anniversary of life on planet Earth today.
*hearty applause, a couple of jeers, one "what the fuck did he say?"*
In honor of this auspicious occasion, I propose a toast to our friend. Please raise your flagons with me...
Dear Double A,
Today is YOUR day!
I'm happy that you're my nephew
And we're all glad you're not gay.
Dear Double A,
Take a brew from the tray!
The henbane may make you sleepy,
But weird dreams shall come your way.
Dear Double A,
Raise your glass above the fray!
We praise your bravery and cunning
And your codebreaking a-bil-i-tay!
Dear Double A,
As you celebrate today,
Be considerate of others
And mindful of what you say.
Dear Double A,
Beware the games cowards play!
Keep your dealings honest and upright,
Fair and just, come what may.
Dear Double A,
One more word of wisdom I'll say,
Go for the girls with the low self-esteem,
As they're an easy lay!
*raucous applause, loud cheers, minor swordplay, a few thrown mugs*
*taps Gerber dagger on stoneware beer mug, filled with henbane beer*
"Ladies and Gentlemen, may I have your attention, please? It has come to my attention through the miracle of MySpace (Official Motto: It's not just for perving on young girls anymore!) that our comrade and nephew, Monsieur Aaron Nielsen, Esquire, of Fort Collins, Colorado, is celebrating his twenty-third anniversary of life on planet Earth today.
*hearty applause, a couple of jeers, one "what the fuck did he say?"*
In honor of this auspicious occasion, I propose a toast to our friend. Please raise your flagons with me...
Dear Double A,
Today is YOUR day!
I'm happy that you're my nephew
And we're all glad you're not gay.
Dear Double A,
Take a brew from the tray!
The henbane may make you sleepy,
But weird dreams shall come your way.
Dear Double A,
Raise your glass above the fray!
We praise your bravery and cunning
And your codebreaking a-bil-i-tay!
Dear Double A,
As you celebrate today,
Be considerate of others
And mindful of what you say.
Dear Double A,
Beware the games cowards play!
Keep your dealings honest and upright,
Fair and just, come what may.
Dear Double A,
One more word of wisdom I'll say,
Go for the girls with the low self-esteem,
As they're an easy lay!
*raucous applause, loud cheers, minor swordplay, a few thrown mugs*
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