The Results are In!
Good day from the Festung Europa soapbox to our gentle readers across the planet!
It looks like Donald Rumsfeld is the first Republican sacrifice to voter sentiment after the Democratic surge on Tuesday. He should have been canned a long time ago, although I have my doubts about Robert Gates, a former CIA director and a current university president, as his successor. But maybe Bush is trying to marry the CIA to the military by putting a USAF general in charge of the spooks and a spook in charge of the generals.
Let's turn now to our local Iowa correspondent and Man about Town, Loren Christensen, for his commentary on Tuesday's election results. Loren, are you there?
AND GEORGIA AND FLORIDA AND CALIFORNIA AND IOWA AND MINNESOTA AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND IN THE REPUBLICAN SIDE A RESOUNDING CHANT WAS GROWING. FOUR MORE WARS, FOUR MORE WARS!
Loren, can you hear me?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Loren!
UH, YES?
Loren, it's Chris from Festung Europa, where the answer to all questions is yes...and no!
WHAT? YES AND NO!
Loren, could you give us your overall impression of the Democratic victory on Tuesday?
THEY ARE TRYING TO KEEP LOW KEY TO APPEAR HUMBLE. THE VOTES WEREN'T FOR ANYONE, INSTEAD, THEY WERE AGAINST BUSH AS IS APPARENT IN THE LEACH "UPSET". NO UPSET THERE IF YOU LOOK AT THE TRENDS ACROSS THE STATE. MANY GOOD REPUBLICANS LOST THEIR JOBS FOR "STAYING THE COURSE".
Yes, I'm sure they can find a lobbyist job somewhere. Since the war was the big issue, what do you suggest as a bipartisan strategy in Iraq?
SET UP OPEN SEASON MUCH LIKE LINEBACKER TWO IN VIETNAM. SHOOT EVERY TERRORIST YOU CAN FIND AND REDEPLOY INTO AFGHANISTAN AND DAMN IT, FIND BIN LADEN.
THEN GO HOME........
I am curious, how did your votes turn out compared to the results?
SIMILAR.....AND I AM A REPUBLICAN. SHOULD SAY SOMETHING SHOULDN'T IT???
I'm sorry. Yes, I guess that does. Do you think that Bush should turn back to alcohol and/or cocaine for support during these troublesome times?
NO. HE SHOULD, HOWEVER, EMBRACE THE DEMOCRATIC MAJORITY AND THEIR CHAMPION, NONE OTHER THAN THAT LADY FROM SAN FRAN, THE NANSTER. THIS SHOULD BE INTERESTING. PERHAPS THEY COULD START UP A SEEDY RELATIONSHIP INVOLVING SOME OF NANCY'S SUPPORTERS AND MAKE A MOVIE.
Wonderful! On the Iowa scene, what does Culver need to do in Iowa in the first 90 days of his administration?
EMPHASIZE BUSINESS TAX REFORM, TEACHERS ISSUES, ORGANIZE A TASK FORCE TO KEEP IOWA'S YOUNG FOLKS. ANOTHER TASK FORCE ON INCENTIVES TO KEEP IOWA'S LAKES AND STREAMS CLEAN LED BY SOMEONE FROM THE IOWA GREAT LAKES REGION.
LET'S FACE IT. THE DEMS DON'T HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS, EITHER. I SEE IT AS A NEW DEAL SITUATION WHERE A LOT OF THINGS WILL NEED TO BE TRIED TO SEE WHAT WORKS. IN SHORT, WE NEED COOPERATION.
There you have it folks. The word for the day is "cooperation". Let's spread the word!
Thank you, once again, Loren, for your insight and commentary on the issues of the day. For all of us at Festung Europa, may the good news be yours!
(with apologies to Les Nesman)
It looks like Donald Rumsfeld is the first Republican sacrifice to voter sentiment after the Democratic surge on Tuesday. He should have been canned a long time ago, although I have my doubts about Robert Gates, a former CIA director and a current university president, as his successor. But maybe Bush is trying to marry the CIA to the military by putting a USAF general in charge of the spooks and a spook in charge of the generals.
Let's turn now to our local Iowa correspondent and Man about Town, Loren Christensen, for his commentary on Tuesday's election results. Loren, are you there?
AND GEORGIA AND FLORIDA AND CALIFORNIA AND IOWA AND MINNESOTA AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND IN THE REPUBLICAN SIDE A RESOUNDING CHANT WAS GROWING. FOUR MORE WARS, FOUR MORE WARS!
Loren, can you hear me?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Loren!
UH, YES?
Loren, it's Chris from Festung Europa, where the answer to all questions is yes...and no!
WHAT? YES AND NO!
Loren, could you give us your overall impression of the Democratic victory on Tuesday?
THEY ARE TRYING TO KEEP LOW KEY TO APPEAR HUMBLE. THE VOTES WEREN'T FOR ANYONE, INSTEAD, THEY WERE AGAINST BUSH AS IS APPARENT IN THE LEACH "UPSET". NO UPSET THERE IF YOU LOOK AT THE TRENDS ACROSS THE STATE. MANY GOOD REPUBLICANS LOST THEIR JOBS FOR "STAYING THE COURSE".
Yes, I'm sure they can find a lobbyist job somewhere. Since the war was the big issue, what do you suggest as a bipartisan strategy in Iraq?
SET UP OPEN SEASON MUCH LIKE LINEBACKER TWO IN VIETNAM. SHOOT EVERY TERRORIST YOU CAN FIND AND REDEPLOY INTO AFGHANISTAN AND DAMN IT, FIND BIN LADEN.
THEN GO HOME........
I am curious, how did your votes turn out compared to the results?
SIMILAR.....AND I AM A REPUBLICAN. SHOULD SAY SOMETHING SHOULDN'T IT???
I'm sorry. Yes, I guess that does. Do you think that Bush should turn back to alcohol and/or cocaine for support during these troublesome times?
NO. HE SHOULD, HOWEVER, EMBRACE THE DEMOCRATIC MAJORITY AND THEIR CHAMPION, NONE OTHER THAN THAT LADY FROM SAN FRAN, THE NANSTER. THIS SHOULD BE INTERESTING. PERHAPS THEY COULD START UP A SEEDY RELATIONSHIP INVOLVING SOME OF NANCY'S SUPPORTERS AND MAKE A MOVIE.
Wonderful! On the Iowa scene, what does Culver need to do in Iowa in the first 90 days of his administration?
EMPHASIZE BUSINESS TAX REFORM, TEACHERS ISSUES, ORGANIZE A TASK FORCE TO KEEP IOWA'S YOUNG FOLKS. ANOTHER TASK FORCE ON INCENTIVES TO KEEP IOWA'S LAKES AND STREAMS CLEAN LED BY SOMEONE FROM THE IOWA GREAT LAKES REGION.
LET'S FACE IT. THE DEMS DON'T HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS, EITHER. I SEE IT AS A NEW DEAL SITUATION WHERE A LOT OF THINGS WILL NEED TO BE TRIED TO SEE WHAT WORKS. IN SHORT, WE NEED COOPERATION.
There you have it folks. The word for the day is "cooperation". Let's spread the word!
Thank you, once again, Loren, for your insight and commentary on the issues of the day. For all of us at Festung Europa, may the good news be yours!
(with apologies to Les Nesman)
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