Introducing a New FEature: Girl of the Week!

As you all know, we are having a tough time getting a fashion column here at Festung Europa, but we have today the start of the next best thing: Girl of the Week! Taking our cue from the soft porn, front page features of the German BILD Zeitung, we, the editorial staff, at Festung Europa have decided to add a similar column for your perving, er uh, viewing pleasure. And since our correspondent in the Rockies, Mr. A.D. Nielsen, has volunteered to get us the bra and panty pictures of college-age girls, let's, as they say in the business, rock and roll!

This week's featured girl is Rachel (on the right) from anarchist, free-love Oregon. Her picture is below.

For your interest, I have included as well the IM exchange that led to this brilliant new idea here at Festung Europa. Enjoy!


adnielsen: hey i'm talking to some girl in Oregon that i don't know (a friend of mine) all i know about her is a pic i received in an email of her in her bra
Defensemaster1: Congratulations!
adnielsen: heheh
adnielsen: i would send it to you, but i dont' know if you can handle it
Defensemaster1: Send the pic this way, bro.
Defensemaster1: I can handle almost anything.
adnielsen: well, i guess i can make an exception this time, but i have to warn you that she is Bi-curious
Defensemaster1: Well, that is OK in a girl.
adnielsen wants to send file C:\Dokumente und Einstellungen\u3900cm\Eigene Dateien\download\defensemaster1\rachel 07.jpg. adnielsen wants to send file C:\Dokumente und Einstellungen\u3900cm\Eigene Dateien\download\defensemaster1\rachel 07.jpg.
adnielsen: eeeeeeek
adnielsen: can't send you right now?!
Defensemaster1: I think our firewall at work is blocking it. Email, please.
adnielsen: oh geeez
adnielsen: god damn work gets in the way
Defensemaster1: Isn't that always the case?
adnielsen: i've built up the excitement, but it's actually not that titalating
Defensemaster1: Well, let me be the judge of that.
Defensemaster1: brb, gotta get a cup of java for this.
adnielsen: ok... the rachel pic is her on the right... i think pretty hot..... the rest are of Anita (aka Lesbo Oregonian), ehhhh in my opinon
Auto response from Defensemaster1: I am away from my computer right now.

Defensemaster1: Just a moment. I have to check my email.
Defensemaster1: Not there yet. Probably the elves that run the internet are checking it out.
adnielsen: oh geez
adnielsen: i sent it
Defensemaster1: Well, where the hell is it? Ah, I checked AOL. Perhaps we have a filter at work against this type of very, very soft porn.
adnielsen: hehehehe
Defensemaster1: Do you know this samadhifreak chick?
adnielsen: yes, my good friend
adnielsen: jocelyn
Defensemaster1: I see.
adnielsen: she's a year younger than me, so perfect for you, but 15 yrs too young for me
Defensemaster1: I see.
Defensemaster1: What does she do?
adnielsen: okkk, she's on my website... we might have built you up wayyy to much....http://www.engr.colostate.edu/~nielsen/rachel.jpg
adnielsen: she's on the right
Defensemaster1: I was thinking the chocolate one.
adnielsen: hehe, not too many of those in Bavaria
Defensemaster1: Well, actually there are around the US bases...homeboys inpregnating the local population and leaving their mixed offspring in their wake.
adnielsen: by the way, my mom almost cried when she say that you added an advertisement for PBR in your story
Defensemaster1: I know, it's darn touching.
Defensemaster1: I was weeping when I wrote it.
adnielsen: hahahah, goddamn smart ass sumbitch
Defensemaster1: Well, the young lass on the right isn't that bad.
adnielsen: yep, that's rachel
Defensemaster1: Who is the dumbass with the chains?
adnielsen: i think that's Chad
adnielsen: that's a good question... looks like the dude isn't even into girls
Defensemaster1: Is that a typical Oregon party in your opinion?
adnielsen: kinda... oregonians are super open and sexual
Defensemaster1: Really, you could describe the majority of the population (well at least the young) that way? I've heard that anarchy reigns there.
adnielsen: hahah
Defensemaster1: Free love and anarchy!
adnielsen: hell yeah!
Defensemaster1: Archenemies of the Bush administration.
adnielsen: my dad and i drove by some anti-Iraq war protesters on saturday and he said "those hippies are all probably stoned right now!"... it was pretty funny, i know he was partially joking with me since i like hippies
Defensemaster1: Maybe he was just projecting his wish to get high on them.
Defensemaster1: Freudian deal.
adnielsen: hehehe.... i told him that hippies LOVE free love!
Defensemaster1: Well, who doesn't?
adnielsen: oh ggeezzzz... my good friends that love and adore our savior Jesus Christ do not appreciate free love, it's a sin God Dammit, er gosh darnit
Defensemaster1: Yeah, like Ted Haggart.
adnielsen: hehehehehe
Defensemaster1: Hey, do you have a picture of Jocelyn on your website, so I can visualize with whom I am chatting?
adnielsen: did i tell you? i saw a concert in colo springs that week and the lead singer of the main band said "ted? pastor ted? we have a massage waiting for you backstage"
adnielsen: hmmmm
Defensemaster1: I'm sure he took them up on the offer.
Defensemaster1: A good rubbing for the Lord.
adnielsen: nah a rub without the meth is like genesis with out adam and eve
Defensemaster1: lol
adnielsen: ...i'm looking for that jocelyn picture... has she said anything amusing to you?
Defensemaster1: Not really.
Defensemaster1: Just her bio bio.
Defensemaster1: I haven't asked her yet if she is into fist fucking.
adnielsen: probably, oregonians will do anything you like... seriously
adnielsen: here
adnielsen: tha'ts the best one i could find
Defensemaster1: Well....
Defensemaster1: Is she that one Myspace buddy of yours who loves the Lord?
adnielsen: nooooo
adnielsen: but she is one of my top myspaces
Defensemaster1: I'll have to check her site out.
adnielsen: here it is
Defensemaster1: Was she the chick who went with you to Mom's place in December?
adnielsen: yes
Defensemaster1: OK
adnielsen: we have a bit of a history
adnielsen: did yout get that pic of the oregonian in the black/red bra?
Defensemaster1: Like wild sex and coke parties?
adnielsen: probably
Defensemaster1: Yeah, she isn't that bad. Not much in the bosom department, but that isn't my thing anyway.
adnielsen: chocolate, then chain dickhead, then black/red bra beauty
Defensemaster1: Yeah, I have it.
adnielsen: here's here SN, message her
adnielsen: NapoleonInRaggs
Defensemaster1: I'm thinking of adding a new blog feature, Girl of the Week, provided you can get me the soft porn.
adnielsen: heheheeh
Defensemaster1: It will be like the Bild Zeitung!
adnielsen: yeah that would be awesome... i would love to play a part in this
adnielsen: did you message her?
Defensemaster1: Not yet. What should I say?
adnielsen: Hey baby
Defensemaster1: Oh, that will work!
adnielsen: hey, you're one hot americano
adnielsen: did you say something wrong?!!!!
Defensemaster1: She is not available, according to my AIM.
adnielsen: ah
adnielsen: thats a sumbitch... you were just about to whip our your tools
Defensemaster1: Yeah, my prose would make her wet.
adnielsen: hahah
Defensemaster1: So, do you think you can get bra pictures on a weekly basis?
adnielsen: i'll see what i can do
Defensemaster1: Just say something like, "Hey baby, want to be famous in an international publication?"
adnielsen: i may be able to get you onto CSU's Facebook!!! which has numberous hotties pics
Defensemaster1: That would be awesome!
Defensemaster1: Set me up with an account and send me the username and password.
adnielsen: let me seeeee
Defensemaster1: I still haven't received your email!
adnielsen: whats yoru b0dta?
adnielsen: bday?
Defensemaster1: April 12 1968, but change the date to 86 so I don't look like a perv.
Defensemaster1: Or doesn't it make a difference?
adnielsen: eeeek, sorry, no luck with the facebook account... i need to find a way for your to join our CSU account or you woun't get the full action
Defensemaster1: What do you need to join, a student ID number or some exclusive shit like that?
adnielsen: an email address @colostate.edu
Defensemaster1: What I really would like is a university library log-on so I could access journals and stuff like that!
adnielsen: i have a few, so i triued to use one for you, but i had problems
Defensemaster1: I have tried long and hard to get a UK Athens account that works, but all my efforts have come to naught.
Defensemaster1: Although I did find a ProQuest login, but that is pretty mainstream stuff.
Defensemaster1: And I used to have a log-in for the OED, but I think it is no longer valid.
adnielsen: shit ists 2:30!!!.... timeo ffffor bed
Defensemaster1: Well, thanks for the idea for a new and interesting column!
Defensemaster1: It will be a big hit with my 40-ish friends.
Defensemaster1: BIG hit.
adnielsen: communicating with young broads acrosss continents in cyber space
adnielsen is away at 10:32:40.
adnielsen: adios, guden tag grosse frau
Defensemaster1: Later!

And so, without further ado, our Festung Europa Girl of the Week: Rachel (on the right)!

Comments

Gonar, GOTOG said…
Ewww! You seriously need to get some hotter chicks for "Girl of the Week". The dork with the chain looks sexy by comparison and I'm not even gay! I'd send you some pictures of my wife but they're probably too pornographic for your website.

Gonar
CR Meyer said…
Bring on the poison Ivy, Gonar! We have no standards here. Perhaps I can put her in a MOM (MILF Of the Month) FEature. That would kick ass.

I hope Mr. A.D. Nielsen sees this criticism, takes it to heart and responds appropriately by submitting hotter chicks for the Girl of the Week to Festung Europa.

Thanks for your comments!
Anonymous said…
hey now...you'd better watch who you're calling hot...i might take offense for sorta supplying that picture...and for you insulting my good friend....
CR Meyer said…
Well, she would look better, as most women do, with a dick in her mouth.

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