E.J. Ra - The Enthusiast! - A Disturbing Development V

graphics by The Amazing Guy

(Scene is Precinct 21 station. The assorted menagerie of losers, boozers and users are sitting in the bright orange plastic chairs under the bright fluorescent lights of the waiting room. Trish is standing at the reception. The officer speaks to her through a crackling microphone from behind the bullet-proof glass.)

Officer: I’m sorry, ma’am. We have no record of ever picking up a Mister E.J. Ra in connection with that incident.

Trish: Officer, that can’t be! I saw Mr. Ra, my client, being pushed into the back of one of your squad cars, minutes before your other policemen arrived on the scene.

Officer: Those other policemen WERE our first responders, ma’am. In fact, they were are only responders, after we found out that there were no longer any suspects at the scene.

Trish: I don’t understand! I saw another police car take away my client!!!

Officer: I’m sorry, but I don’t understand, either. Do you have, perhaps, a number of that squad car or any other identifying information?

Trish: There were two other men in the back of the car, but I didn’t catch the number or the name of the officers at the scene. I spoke to one, but, but…I can’t recall.

Officer: Then I can’t really help you. Sorry. Next!

(A older, Hispanic man gets up and makes his way to the window.)

Trish: Who else can I talk to?

Officer: I’m sorry, ma’am. We can’t help you. Next!

(The Hispanic man waits impatiently behind Trish.)

Trish: (aggravated) Can I talk to your dispatcher?

Officer: No, they’re busy. Look, lady, can you please give it a rest and let this gentleman come forward. Like I said, I can’t help you.

Trish: (furious) I’ll be calling your supervisor on Monday!

Officer: Fine, whatever. Next!

(The Hispanic man goes to the window and begins telling the officer his issues. Trish grabs her briefcase, turns and storms out the door.)

(Scene switches to fuzzy, dreamlike setting. E.J. is shown driving into a wooded driveway in the evening twilight. At the end of the driveway is a contemporary, Brady Bunch modern house, but no lights are on. He gets out of the car and makes his way to the front door. Ringing the bell, there is no answer. He rings again, then looks to the side and sees an open gate to the backyard. He walks around the the front of the garage to the gate and enters the backyard. He calls out a name, which is unheard as the sequence is without sound, except for the eerie music on the soundtrack. He sees an open back door to the house, then enters warily. The camera goes in for a closeup as you can see him call out again. Then, you see him screaming “No!” as he rushes to the corpse of a girl lying on the living room floor. He rushes up the stairs which cascade into the living room, through the dimly-lit hallway and into a bedroom, where he finds another girl’s dead body. Incredibly upset, he barges into the master bedroom, and upon seeing the two corpses lying on the bed, he breaks down, falling to his knees and sobbing at the bed’s edge.)

E.J.: (hanging upside down, eyes closed, wakes up suddenly, screaming) Arrrrrrrrgh! (eyes open wide upon realizing where he is) Aaaaaahhhhhhh!

(E.J. is entwined in a mass of ivy, growing up the sides of an old brick, industrial, skylit atrium, somewhat like an enclosed alley. He is about 40 feet off the ground, and his limbs are securely bound by the plant. The floor of the alley is paved with cobblestone, yet there are domestic amenities such as a black leather couch, a modern-style, spherical reading lamps, oaken bookshelves, and a browned, antique globe. The atrium is narrow, about 20 feet wide, and is dimly lit by the moonlight filtering through the metal-gridded skylight, about 70 feet up. There are iron ladders leading up to various levels within the ivy-covered walls of the atrium; E.J. can only see directly across and, of course, upside down, making out what seems to be a kitchen of sorts. He looks downward and sees G.Onar, still wearing his purple suit and round sunglasses, sitting in a comfortable black leather chair.)

E.J.: Hey! Hey, you! What the hell is the meaning of this?! Get me down from here!

Onar: (looking up) Oh, you must have had an unpleasant dream, Mr. Ra.

E.J.: I trusted you, Onar! Then you blow some junk in my face, and now you’ve hung me out to dry!

Onar: Yes, yes, I’m sorry about that, Mr. Ra, but I never know just how people react when they come out of their sleep. Sometimes dreams become nightmares. I have to take these precautions…I hope you understand.

E.J.: Just get me down from here!

Onar: Yes, of course. Ivy, my love, could you please release him gently?

(At this point, the ivy holding E.J. Ra rustles a bit, then slowly extends, lowering E.J. to the ground while simultaneously righting him. Once he is upright and on the ground, the vines release their grip upon him and retreat to within the mass of ivy covering the walls.)

Onar: Sorry for any inconvenience, Mr. Ra. Let me more properly introduce myself. (extends hand) I am Gottfried Onar, friend and colleague of The Defensemaster, who has graciously asked me to continue your training.

E.J.: (warily extends hand) Yeah…OK. Then why the sleeping powder? Why the restraints?

Onar: I had to get you quickly out of that situation with the two armed men, Mr. Ra. My colleague, Miss Efeu, had heard through the grapevine, so to speak, that they were coming for you. We just missed the Metroplex police by a hair, I’ll have you know.

E.J.: But I could have clarified everything with the cops. It would have been OK for me, and the bad guys could have been apprehended.

Onar: You don’t know that, Mr. Ra. And, oh, we do have the situation well in hand. (motions upward with silver-capped walking stick.)

(E.J. looks up and sees the two thugs that attacked him, also hanging upside-down, bound in the ivy. They have black sacks over their heads, however.)

E.J.: Holy smokes! Who are they? And just who are you?

Onar: All in good time. I assume that you are hungry, Mr. Ra?

E.J.: Yeah, actually, I’m starving. What time is it, anyway?

Onar: It is mid-evening at our present location on the same solar day as before…that would be your Saturday, I guess. I don’t usually go for local time. Come, please join me at my table.

(G.Onar motions toward a heavy, oaken round table at the far end of the atrium. There are eight, high-backed oaken chairs, engraved with runes and other mystic sigils, surrounding it. The table is set with fine china and glassware. E.J. follows him, somewhat warily, to the table.)

Onar: Please, have a seat, Mr. Ra. May I offer you something to drink?

E.J.: (seating himself) I’ll have a glass of water, if it’s no trouble.

Onar: Of course. (There is a pitcher of ice water on the table, from which G.Onar pours E.J. a glass, then fills his as well. E.J. quickly gulps down his glass, at which point G.Onar refills it.)

Onar: Your thirst is to be expected, as is your hunger.

E.J.: (suddenly gets up) Wait a minute, I just remembered, people are expecting me…Billy!

Onar: Don’t worry, Mr. Ra. We have heard that he is doing fine. He is currently staying with Trish, your neighbor.

E.J.: How do you know this?

Onar: We have our ways…as I mentioned, we are in touch through the grapevine.

E.J.: Can I call them?

Onar: Unfortunately, that is not yet possible.

E.J.: What do you mean, not yet possible? Don’t you have a telephone? They must be worried.

Onar: Actually, no, we don’t have a phone. And their worries will soon be abated. Please, sit down, Mr. Ra. I will try to answer your questions, and you can have something to ease your hunger. (calling out) Ivy, my love, could you please bring us some of that lovely fruit salad?

(At this point, the ivy covered vines rustle and gently bring down a large, crystal bowl from the kitchen level, placing it on the table. Within the bowl is a delectable mixture of exotic fruits and ambrosia.)

E.J.: (in wonder of the 'magic' of the vines, cautiously looking into bowl) Well, OK, that does look delicious. (sits back down) Hey, is that the fruit of the Chrysolpyhllum cainito, also known as the star apple? I’ve been wanting to try it for some time.

Onar: Why, yes, actually it is. My, I am impressed with your knowledge of fruit, Mr. Ra. (serving him from ladle in fruit bowl) Please enjoy this first course to our meal.

E.J.: Uh, thanks. (hungrily digs in)

Onar: And after our evening repast, I’ll let you in on a few of our secrets. Enjoy!

(Fade to black.)