The VA Tech Massacre: Views from our Man About Town
Greetings, gentle readers and GBCN viewers worldwide! Let's take a break for a moment from the E.J. Ra - The Enthusiast! episode to focus on current events of the day. The world is buzzing about Monday's brutal massacre at the Virginia Tech campus in Blacksburg, Virginia, and to feel America's pulse on the subject, let's check in once again with Festung Europa Iowa Correspondent and "Man About Town", Loren Christensen, to offer his views of the killings and their aftermath. Loren, can you hear me?
(Freddy Mercury impression) MAMA, I JUST KILLED A MAN...
Uh, Loren?
PUT A GUN AGAINST HIS HEAD, PULLED MY TRIGGER, NOW HE'S DEAD...
Loren!
MAMA, LIFE HAD JUST BEGUN!
Loren, can you hear me?!
UH, HELLO?
Loren, it's me, Chris, from Festung Europa, where the answer to all questions is yes...and no!
(imitating Ivan Anderson) WELL, HI CHRIIIIIIIIIISSSSSS!
Hi, Loren. Loren, the media are in a frenzy over the terrible slayings on the Virginia Tech campus on Monday, and we here at Festung Europa have decided to feed upon this story as well. Could you offer your perspectives?
WELL, SUUURRRRRRE, CHRIS. I AM THOROUGHLY DISGUSTED WITH THE SITUATION AT VA TECH. THEY ARE TRYING TO VILLAINIZE THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNIVERSITY AND THE CHIEF OF POLICE. WHILE I'M SURE TACTICAL ERRORS OCCURED, THE NEWS AGENCIES , ALL OF THEM HAVE NOT MENTIONED THEIR HATRED OF THE PERPETRATOR OF THIS TERRIBLE CRIME. THEY HAVEN'T EVEN MENTIONED HOW MUCH THEY DISTAIN HIM AND HIS ACTIONS. INSTEAD, THEY CONCENTRATE ON THE LITIGARY NATURE OF THE CRIME. SO NOW FOR YEARS TO COME IT WILL BE ALL ABOUT ATTORNEYS, CONGRESS, GUN LAWS AND A MYRIAD OF OTHER BULLSHIT.
AS USUAL LET'S TALK ABOUT ANYTHING BUT THE FACTS.
Yeah, the media were trying to place the blame on them from the start, while the shooter bears total responsibility. Put yourself in their shoes. You walk in on a murder scene, black man (the RA) and, I assume, white girl. The roommate of the deceased woman mentions that she was on a shooting range with the boyfriend of the chick a month before, so of course he is their prime suspect. The last thing you would really expect is that some madman is heading to another building intent on a bloodbath. The situation looked like the classic love-triangle murder deal at first.
Then they ask why the university wasn't "locked down", whatever that means. It is 7:15 a.m. at the first 911 call, everyone is starting out for their 8:00 a.m. classes...what do you do, get on the Radar O'Reilly intercom, "Attention all personnel!"? Remember, they did block access to the first building, as they should have, but should you really expect 26,000 students to be "locked down" at the discovery of a double homicide which looked to be the result of a relationship gone bad.
People need to face facts. You are never "secure". If someone wants to kill you or a lot of other people, it really isn't that difficult. It is only through a combination of laws, general morality or ethics and good old fashioned luck that keeps your chances of facing this type of chaos relatively remote. But it is never a 100% deal. Such is fate.
ALL I KNOW IS THAT IT'S PRETTY BAD WHEN I WON'T WATCH THE NEWS.
I have a problem with the American media for being completely stupid and the German media for being completely smug. I was watching CNN coverage Monday night, and they have some dingbat reporter asking college students, "What are you feeling right now?" What the fuck do you think they're feeling? "I feel a Big Mac Attack coming on!"? Then Wolf Blitzer asks these CNN chicks monitoring the internet what people are posting on Facebook and Myspace about the tragedy. In other words, if I wanted to know that, I would go to Facebook and Myspace, asshole. "They're connecting with friends, sharing and posting their feelings, Wolf." Who gives a shit?! Give me the facts concerning the shootings and let me interpret them. And on the other hand, the German news always takes the "we're better than you because we have strict gun control" view, which is also completely wrong as they had a school bloodbath here just five years ago in Erfurt. It is no wonder that the mainstream media are being looked upon like a dinosaur when this is the best that they can do.
SOMETIMES EVEN A LOUDMOUTH LIKE ME IS AT A LOSS FOR WORDS. I JUST CAN'T STAND TO WATCH THE MEDIA TURN TRAGEDY INTO A CUTE HUMAN INTEREST STORY ALL TIED UP WITH A BOW. KATIE COURIC, I'M SURE, IS ALREADY ON A PLANE TO TALK TO THE SONOFABITCH'S MOTHER BACK IN S. KOREA. I'M SURE HE WAS A "NICE BOY WITH PROBLEMS" AND HE COULDN'T HANDLE REJECTION AND ON AND ON. WHO CARES!!! HE IS A FUCKING MURDERER AND THAT IN ITSELF SUPERCEDES ANY EXPLANATION. THERE IS NO EXPLANATION WORTH HEARING. I DON'T CARE...
I think the killer's parents are in the states as well, but yeah, the media need to put the blame where it lies. After watching the video package that the killer sent to NBC news during his two-hour break, I, like most others, have come to the conclusion: he was completely off his rocker! Wow, absolutely, totally nuts. I am sure the mental health doctor who evaluated him and eventually sent him back to college is kicking himself...and getting ready for a slew of lawsuits!
THAT IS THE KIND OF REPORTING I WOULD LIKE TO HEAR MORE OF: IMAGINE HARRY TRUMAN COMMENTING ON THIS JOHN WAYNE WANNABE. HE WAS DOING ALL THIS POSING AND COMPARING HIMSELF TO CHRIST. I HOPE HE ROTS IN FUCKING HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY. PRINT THAT IN THE FUCKING NEWSPAPER.
"OH, HEAVENS TO BETSY!" WHAT ARE THE KOREANS GOING TO DO NOW? THEY ARE SURE TO BE PERSECUTED. ANOTHER FICTIONAL PROBLEM I'M SURE WE'LL SOON BE HEARING CHARLIE GIBSON SPEAKING TO THE NATIONAL KOREANS FOR PUNITORY RESTITUTION LEAGUE FOR THE BETTERMENT OF AMERICA.
THERE PROBABLY IS SUCH AN ORGANIZATION. ME, I SHOULD JUST KEEP TO MYSELF. I DON'T THINK THERE IS A LEAGUE FOR PUERTO RICAN HALFBREED ORPHANS.
Well, there you have it, folks! Thanks, Loren, for your take on this tragedy, and we hope to tune in with you again soon!
(Freddy Mercury impression) MAMA, I JUST KILLED A MAN...
Uh, Loren?
PUT A GUN AGAINST HIS HEAD, PULLED MY TRIGGER, NOW HE'S DEAD...
Loren!
MAMA, LIFE HAD JUST BEGUN!
Loren, can you hear me?!
UH, HELLO?
Loren, it's me, Chris, from Festung Europa, where the answer to all questions is yes...and no!
(imitating Ivan Anderson) WELL, HI CHRIIIIIIIIIISSSSSS!
Hi, Loren. Loren, the media are in a frenzy over the terrible slayings on the Virginia Tech campus on Monday, and we here at Festung Europa have decided to feed upon this story as well. Could you offer your perspectives?
WELL, SUUURRRRRRE, CHRIS. I AM THOROUGHLY DISGUSTED WITH THE SITUATION AT VA TECH. THEY ARE TRYING TO VILLAINIZE THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNIVERSITY AND THE CHIEF OF POLICE. WHILE I'M SURE TACTICAL ERRORS OCCURED, THE NEWS AGENCIES , ALL OF THEM HAVE NOT MENTIONED THEIR HATRED OF THE PERPETRATOR OF THIS TERRIBLE CRIME. THEY HAVEN'T EVEN MENTIONED HOW MUCH THEY DISTAIN HIM AND HIS ACTIONS. INSTEAD, THEY CONCENTRATE ON THE LITIGARY NATURE OF THE CRIME. SO NOW FOR YEARS TO COME IT WILL BE ALL ABOUT ATTORNEYS, CONGRESS, GUN LAWS AND A MYRIAD OF OTHER BULLSHIT.
AS USUAL LET'S TALK ABOUT ANYTHING BUT THE FACTS.
Yeah, the media were trying to place the blame on them from the start, while the shooter bears total responsibility. Put yourself in their shoes. You walk in on a murder scene, black man (the RA) and, I assume, white girl. The roommate of the deceased woman mentions that she was on a shooting range with the boyfriend of the chick a month before, so of course he is their prime suspect. The last thing you would really expect is that some madman is heading to another building intent on a bloodbath. The situation looked like the classic love-triangle murder deal at first.
Then they ask why the university wasn't "locked down", whatever that means. It is 7:15 a.m. at the first 911 call, everyone is starting out for their 8:00 a.m. classes...what do you do, get on the Radar O'Reilly intercom, "Attention all personnel!"? Remember, they did block access to the first building, as they should have, but should you really expect 26,000 students to be "locked down" at the discovery of a double homicide which looked to be the result of a relationship gone bad.
People need to face facts. You are never "secure". If someone wants to kill you or a lot of other people, it really isn't that difficult. It is only through a combination of laws, general morality or ethics and good old fashioned luck that keeps your chances of facing this type of chaos relatively remote. But it is never a 100% deal. Such is fate.
ALL I KNOW IS THAT IT'S PRETTY BAD WHEN I WON'T WATCH THE NEWS.
I have a problem with the American media for being completely stupid and the German media for being completely smug. I was watching CNN coverage Monday night, and they have some dingbat reporter asking college students, "What are you feeling right now?" What the fuck do you think they're feeling? "I feel a Big Mac Attack coming on!"? Then Wolf Blitzer asks these CNN chicks monitoring the internet what people are posting on Facebook and Myspace about the tragedy. In other words, if I wanted to know that, I would go to Facebook and Myspace, asshole. "They're connecting with friends, sharing and posting their feelings, Wolf." Who gives a shit?! Give me the facts concerning the shootings and let me interpret them. And on the other hand, the German news always takes the "we're better than you because we have strict gun control" view, which is also completely wrong as they had a school bloodbath here just five years ago in Erfurt. It is no wonder that the mainstream media are being looked upon like a dinosaur when this is the best that they can do.
SOMETIMES EVEN A LOUDMOUTH LIKE ME IS AT A LOSS FOR WORDS. I JUST CAN'T STAND TO WATCH THE MEDIA TURN TRAGEDY INTO A CUTE HUMAN INTEREST STORY ALL TIED UP WITH A BOW. KATIE COURIC, I'M SURE, IS ALREADY ON A PLANE TO TALK TO THE SONOFABITCH'S MOTHER BACK IN S. KOREA. I'M SURE HE WAS A "NICE BOY WITH PROBLEMS" AND HE COULDN'T HANDLE REJECTION AND ON AND ON. WHO CARES!!! HE IS A FUCKING MURDERER AND THAT IN ITSELF SUPERCEDES ANY EXPLANATION. THERE IS NO EXPLANATION WORTH HEARING. I DON'T CARE...
I think the killer's parents are in the states as well, but yeah, the media need to put the blame where it lies. After watching the video package that the killer sent to NBC news during his two-hour break, I, like most others, have come to the conclusion: he was completely off his rocker! Wow, absolutely, totally nuts. I am sure the mental health doctor who evaluated him and eventually sent him back to college is kicking himself...and getting ready for a slew of lawsuits!
THAT IS THE KIND OF REPORTING I WOULD LIKE TO HEAR MORE OF: IMAGINE HARRY TRUMAN COMMENTING ON THIS JOHN WAYNE WANNABE. HE WAS DOING ALL THIS POSING AND COMPARING HIMSELF TO CHRIST. I HOPE HE ROTS IN FUCKING HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY. PRINT THAT IN THE FUCKING NEWSPAPER.
"OH, HEAVENS TO BETSY!" WHAT ARE THE KOREANS GOING TO DO NOW? THEY ARE SURE TO BE PERSECUTED. ANOTHER FICTIONAL PROBLEM I'M SURE WE'LL SOON BE HEARING CHARLIE GIBSON SPEAKING TO THE NATIONAL KOREANS FOR PUNITORY RESTITUTION LEAGUE FOR THE BETTERMENT OF AMERICA.
THERE PROBABLY IS SUCH AN ORGANIZATION. ME, I SHOULD JUST KEEP TO MYSELF. I DON'T THINK THERE IS A LEAGUE FOR PUERTO RICAN HALFBREED ORPHANS.
Well, there you have it, folks! Thanks, Loren, for your take on this tragedy, and we hope to tune in with you again soon!
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